Tag Archives: #pets

Going Backward While Moving Forward

November 6, 2023 The Blue Widow Leave a comment

photo of downtown chicago from wrigley stadium

Is it Forward or Backward?

I know, the title kind of doesn’t make sense but the feeling is real. Many aspects of my life seem to be moving backward while others are moving forward. I will somewhat always live in the past, that is true. But we are all forced to move forward with the passage of time. As I’ve said before, understanding and accepting this isn’t always easy.

Backwards

My move was settled about a month ago. It was anything but smooth. One would think it easier to take everything down three flights of stairs versus up however, that wasn’t the case. Also curiously, and although I tried really hard not to buy a ton of shit, I in fact, had a ton of shit. Stuff I had accumulated in the short time living in my tiny ass (600 sq. ft.) apartment in Chicago. Wow, I’m still scratching my head about that one.

I’m kind of still living out of boxes. Every day it seems I’ve lost something or can’t find something. And then I tear through boxes again thinking I should have labelled everything.

My new job is fun and I love my co-workers. With Christmas coming up, I am working more. Just for now though. Next year will be somewhat different. Due to the reasons I moved back, I don’t really know what next year has in store for me. I’m both anxious and uneasy about the future. I know there will be more tests to my mental health.

Backwards and Forward

A couple of weeks ago I went backward and forward again, simultaneously. I had to put Malice down. She was mine and my late husband’s husky. We adopted her in 2012 when she was three years old. She was a very unique soul. Watching her go was devastating. It was like losing another piece of Eric. I know she is with him. I felt it. I’ll make an article about her soon. I just haven’t gathered the right words yet.

In the mean time, here a few pictures of her. Her remaining years after my first move from Illinois back, were spent in Kentucky with Eric’s dad. She had a good life.

She was fun and smart. In her early years she was an instigator. She was always the cheerleader of bad doings at the dog outings. I always said she wouldn’t start the fight but she was right in the middle cheering it on. Malice pranced when she walked. She had a swagger of a diva. Lover of all things sparkly and anything that made her stand out. Shirts, sweaters, collars, bandanas, she loved to dress up. Oh and she sang. She had her favorite songs and if you’ve heard her then you know. I will miss her.

Forward

One final thing I wanted to share. I’m putting this out there for my own personal accountability. I am starting my own online publishing business. The business should be up and running in a few months. I’m heavily invested in this in all aspects. I’ve become so passionate about it and love it already. I’ll probably be posting less as I’m still learning the process, and writing of course.

Thanks for reading. I love you all –xxooC

Have you had a time where you felt you were moving both backwards and forward simultaneously?

Lucy’s Adventures, Trip Prep, Uncategorized

Another Lucy Update- Travel Cat

May 17, 2022 The Blue Widow 1 Comment

Pre-Travel Cat Prep

Hi there! Lucy (my travel cat companion) is doing as well as to be expected with all things considering. The new vet is working out great. All meds are filled easily now. I visited the pet store and stocked up on her favorites before heading out. Leaving was pretty straight forward.

Before traveling, Lucy had never been on a trip except to the vet. She did not like traveling at all. So before her first trip out, I went to the (old) vet and asked how to make her a travel cat. I needed a way to calm her anxiety and relieve her motion sickness. The vet prescribed alprazolam. It’s worked really well. I give it about an hour before we leave. Lucy’s reaction has become predictable which helped me. I have to restrict food and water or I am constantly pulling over to clean her up.

Pre trip prep also included lots of rest, a good ear cleaning and fresh bandana. Bandanas are staying. It keeps her from scratching and licking the area of her neck which has become itchy. A bandana is not only stylish, it also keeps the area dry. She doesn’t try to get it off. The new vet agreed that because of her age and we can’t determine the cause of her itchy spot, a bandana works.

On The Road

As I said, she’s become predictable. She lets me know when she’s ready for a fresh pee pad which may or may not require pulling over, depending on the severity. The link is to the ones I love the most. I’ve tried several brands and keep coming back to these made by Glad. #ad

She tells me when she’s thirsty and hungry and gets a small snack and water during gas fill ups. Which is usually around every 3 hours. As I said before, restricting keeps us both calm and clean.

Lucy in her carrier in the front seat of my truck

This carrier continues to amaze me. I got it on Amazon. Here’s the Link if you want to check it out. #ad

It’s by Siivton and airline approved! All sides fold out to become this large tent like thing. It doubles as a carrier and a litter box. I put a pee pad inside and she goes in and does her business. It’s so easy and convenient. It unzips all the way around so when we get to where we are going. I can unzip it, spray it down and keep using it. This carrier is completely soft sided but it’s maintained it’s structure for now.

Easy carry on straps. If I’m going somewhere I don’t want to advertise I have an animal, I throw a blanket over the carrier and it looks like luggage. Whoever designed this was a genius.

Staying In Kansas City

Lucy is becoming an old pro at being a travel cat. We have developed a routine when we get to where we are going. I get her set up and leave her alone. She needs time to herself. Then when Lucy is ready, she interacts and acclimates to her new surroundings.

One trip to the pet store while in Kansas City was required to stock up on food and more treats!

Travel Cat Leaving KC

The road trip back to Kentucky was uneventful. We talked for about 4 hours. Then she decided to nap the rest of the way. When we got back, she was tired so she slept some more. She was her usual self the following morning. She purred, ate, and did all of her kitty things. Until our next adventure!!

Thanks for reading! Feel free to ask any questions or leave any tips. We are still learning on this new adventure of ours.

Thoughts and Notes, Uncategorized

Traveling Alone. A Personal Story.

May 10, 2022 The Blue Widow 18 Comments

Why I’m Traveling Alone

Hi there, I think it’s time we address this topic. Yes, I have been traveling alone for the past 2 years. I decided early on that I would never turn down an invitation. That means I am usually en-route to see friends or family. I believe getting there is half the adventure!

Me at Cascade Canyon Wye, Colorado. Traveling alone.

Yes…undoubtedly there are some of you I haven’t gotten to yet. My apologies and promise I will reach out to see you soon!!

I believe what few understand is the trauma surrounding grief. There is a lasting physical and mental trauma that no matter how much medication and therapy it never goes away.

I won’t mince words here. In June 2020 I was stricken with unbelievable panic disorder, PTSD, and complicated grief. The best one can hope for is to bury it, disguise it, learn to function throughout the day to appear normal on the surface. Subsequently I’m still working on all of that. I can’t say I’ve found the answers to anything. What I did know is I had to keep moving for my own sanity. Make no mistake, I mean moving not moving forward. Moving forward after loss is still a concept I haven’t made sense of nor pretend to understand.

Sanibel Island beach, florida. Traveling alone

Sunset in Venice, Florida. Traveling alone

The Beginning of My Journey

My first trip booked was to Sanibel, FL by way of Venice, FL. To quote my therapist “the only person stopping you is you.” The most profound words I have ever heard. I booked the trip and off I went. It was scary, it was liberating, it was self serving, it was eye opening.

Salt Flats outside Sale Lake City, Utah. Traveling alone in my truck.

Salt flats outside Salt Lake City, Utah. Traveling alone in my truck.

The next trip was out west. I thought well…”if I can do Florida, I can do the west coast.” And again, off I went. I journeyed to Redding, CA, then to San Bernardino, CA (which may turn into another post hopefully) and as a result, has led me to even greater adventures.

On the road in Colorado. Traveling alone.

How It’s Going- Traveling Alone

Now, for those of you wondering where and what I’ve been doing, here’s a little run down. From California in late summer 2021, I ventured up to Portland and Bend, Oregon. I made a mini road trip to Seattle, Washington. I’ve been to Buena Vista, Colorado Springs, and Denver, Colorado. I fit in a quick trip to Chicago, IL. I even went to visit my people in middle Illinois that summer too. Hey peeps I see you!! I’m absolutely positive I left some places out.

I used to hate driving but now I love it. It’s really all about time. Driving is annoying and counter productive when time is limited and valuable. Whenever time is no longer a factor, driving can surprisingly be the best way to get around. I can take whatever I want and stay as long or as little as I want.

Wintering in Florida

After the summer adventures out west, I traveled again to Florida in the fall. I was fortunate enough to see the keys for the first time in my life. It was in late 2021 and I kept thinking “why have I not been here sooner?” Key West and Key Largo were absolutely amazing and beautiful beyond words. I am grateful to be able and to have experienced these life changing spaces and moments. I wish this for everyone, I truly do. Go live your life, on your terms.

Me laying on the beach in Sanibel, Fl. Traveling Alone.

Traveling Alone in 2022

In January of this year I attended Groove Cruise out of Orlando, Florida. I drove down and met friends then traveled over to the coast. We cruised from Port Canaveral to Freeport, Bahamas and back. And that trip my friends is a WHOLE nother story!

In February and March I made another road trip back out west. California and Oregon again. All of this wouldn’t be complete without mentioning Kansas City, Missouri. It’s my jumping point to Colorado and the west. Additionally, I’ve fallen in love with the city and continue to go there.

The squad out for the night on Mariner of the Seas. Groove Cruise 2022

The squad in an elevator on Mariner of the Seas. Groove Cruise 2022

Shows and Festivals

I’ve done two full on, multi day festivals, Hard Summer 2021 (2 days) and Groove Cruise 2022 (4 days). Groove Cruise was on Royal Caribbean’s Mariner of the Seas. Hard Summer was in San Bernardino, California. I’ve seen a couple of small shows in Chico, California.

What’s Happening Next

In the near future, I’m visiting Forecastle Fest in Louisville, KY for one day only. There’s a trip planned to Las Vegas in the summer and then who knows, perhaps California again. Besides Forecastle, I’m looking at Hard Summer again in July although there is nothing definitive yet.

Later this year I also have Escape Psycho Circus in SoCal already on the books for Halloween. The first one since Eric left. It was his favorite festival above all others. After that, who knows. My schedule is filling up quickly.

Lastly, there has been talk of snowboarding in the fall and winter to prepare for an Alaskan heli/cat skiing trip in February 2023.

If there is anything you want to specifically see or to see me do, write me. Share me with your friends. Please give me feedback, I want to hear from you. Love you all! Xxoo C

Lucy’s Adventures, Trip Prep, Uncategorized

Lucy Update- Look At Meow

May 5, 2022 The Blue Widow 3 Comments

How She’s Doing

Just wanted to post a couple of pics and give you a Lucy update. She’s been doing much better after switching to a urinary support diet. She seems to be doing well on Pro Plan Urinary Tract wet food. Everything is day by day of course, I have no illusions this is all palliative. As far as food goes, the only other thing I really changed is the dry food I put down at night. I switched her to Royal Canin urinary support, and one can of the urinary Pro Plan food a day. I also added some CBD twice a day. Other than that she gets everything else the same. #ad

We did get a new, but not so new vet. In the midst of the chaos after we arrived back to Kentucky, her vet practice decided they were closing. This has been her doctor’s office since she was born BUT, one of the older doctor’s spun off a mobile vet clinic years back, so I hit her up. She gladly accepted Lucy as a new patient.

Lucy the calico staring into the camera with bandana on

Lucy Update- Weight Check

Lucy has lost about 4 lbs. during our trip out west which I’m trying to get back on her. She is currently weighing in at around 8lbs.

Lucy looking in the camera with bandana on

Lucy the calico cat asleep — The dragon sleeps

Thanks for reading and I’ll keep you posted when things change! xxooC

On The Road

Kansas City, MO > Pagosa Springs, CO

April 26, 2022 The Blue Widow 2 Comments

What a drive! About half was done off the interstate. The rural areas in Colorado were just amazing. Lucy did great. Still trying to get traveling with a feline figured out but hey, she did awesome for being 20 and not having much experience in the car. As always, there were many times I wanted to pull over and take photos but I tried that already (in Wyoming last year on a trip out to California) and added over 2 hours to my trip.

So here are the good ones I was able to take. The sheer scale of driving into the mountains is just breathtaking. The camera never really seems to pick up what I’m seeing. I felt small and yet grateful to be able to experience this. You’ll hear me say that a lot. I am grateful to see the things I am able to see. I’ve dreamed for so long of just going, doing and being. When I stop and stand outside my vehicle with nothing but the sound of the wind and feeling of the air. It truly is a spiritual moment.

Well, snowboarding tomorrow at Wolf Creek Ski/Snowboard Area. See you there!!

On The Road

Shelbyville, KY > Kansas City, MO

April 26, 2022 The Blue Widow Leave a comment

Hi there and hello from Kansas City, Missouri. The trip took a little longer than expected. Lucy had a few moments requiring quite a bit of attention. After all the traveling across the country, we still don’t have a solid routine down yet. Also I drove through a massive storm system that spawned tornados in eastern states the night I arrived in KC.

Packing was relatively straight forward this time. My snowboard gear was still packed up from my trip out west last month. I always struggle with hot and cold temps in the same trip. How hot is it going to be and how cold are always a concern as my normal body feeling always leans to VERY COLD. The kind you never get warmed up from. Ever. Even in summer time. I have hyperthyroidism along with food sensitivities. At one point I was even diagnosed with chronic fatigue although I suspect that was the food thing but anyway…packing, right. I’ve gotten really good at layering. Get hot, take a few off, get cold, add a few. It’s a rule that has served me well.

So tonight here in KC is a bit chilly. We are building a fire, waxing the boards, and getting ready for the 12+ hour drive in the morning. Cheers!

Lucy’s Adventures, Trip Prep

Lucy Update

April 23, 2022 The Blue Widow Leave a comment

Bloodwork from our most recent visit did not come back normal as expected. Lucy is anemic (this is totally new!), thyroid panel is high (she’s had hyperthyroid disease for 4 years), and she is showing signs of renal disease (I knew this already).

Care will be to increase her daily dosage of thyroid meds and try to switch her diet to a more renal healthy brand…ugh. She is picky enough already. She HATES leftovers. So now I’m trying to find renal support food at a descent price during a cat food shortage after I’ve already stocked up for our trip next week. I’ll make it work.

Lucy’s Adventures, Trip Prep

Just a quick note..

April 23, 2022 The Blue Widow Leave a comment

I have a new travel companion. Well, not exactly new but new to the traveling part. My 20 year old calico cat Lucy. She’s had lymphoma since 2018 and she’s become too needy to leave behind. I’m also not sure how much time she has left so from now on she will be coming with.

Preferred sleeping position in the truck

We are making vet visits before and after big trips. She just got checked out today by a new vet at our regular practice. We changed some meds and are taking care of a new problem. Seems she lost all of the fur on her chest due to a bacterial infection. Quick antibiotic shot and she has to wear a bandana instead of this blue inflatable thing until it heals. So now she’s fashionable too!

I’m pulling out some great ones to take with us because we are off to Colorado next Wednesday by way of Kansas City, Missouri. Stay tuned!

Blue Widow Chronicles

Tag Archives: #pets

Going Backward While Moving Forward