Why I’m Traveling Alone
Hi there, I think it’s time we address this topic. Yes, I have been traveling alone for the past 2 years. I decided early on that I would never turn down an invitation. That means I am usually en-route to see friends or family. I believe getting there is half the adventure!
Yes…undoubtedly there are some of you I haven’t gotten to yet. My apologies and promise I will reach out to see you soon!!
I believe what few understand is the trauma surrounding grief. There is a lasting physical and mental trauma that no matter how much medication and therapy it never goes away.
I won’t mince words here. In June 2020 I was stricken with unbelievable panic disorder, PTSD, and complicated grief. The best one can hope for is to bury it, disguise it, learn to function throughout the day to appear normal on the surface. Subsequently I’m still working on all of that. I can’t say I’ve found the answers to anything. What I did know is I had to keep moving for my own sanity. Make no mistake, I mean moving not moving forward. Moving forward after loss is still a concept I haven’t made sense of nor pretend to understand.
The Beginning of My Journey
My first trip booked was to Sanibel, FL by way of Venice, FL. To quote my therapist “the only person stopping you is you.” The most profound words I have ever heard. I booked the trip and off I went. It was scary, it was liberating, it was self serving, it was eye opening.
The next trip was out west. I thought well…”if I can do Florida, I can do the west coast.” And again, off I went. I journeyed to Redding, CA, then to San Bernardino, CA (which may turn into another post hopefully) and as a result, has led me to even greater adventures.
How It’s Going- Traveling Alone
Now, for those of you wondering where and what I’ve been doing, here’s a little run down. From California in late summer 2021, I ventured up to Portland and Bend, Oregon. I made a mini road trip to Seattle, Washington. I’ve been to Buena Vista, Colorado Springs, and Denver, Colorado. I fit in a quick trip to Chicago, IL. I even went to visit my people in middle Illinois that summer too. Hey peeps I see you!! I’m absolutely positive I left some places out.
I used to hate driving but now I love it. It’s really all about time. Driving is annoying and counter productive when time is limited and valuable. Whenever time is no longer a factor, driving can surprisingly be the best way to get around. I can take whatever I want and stay as long or as little as I want.
Wintering in Florida
After the summer adventures out west, I traveled again to Florida in the fall. I was fortunate enough to see the keys for the first time in my life. It was in late 2021 and I kept thinking “why have I not been here sooner?” Key West and Key Largo were absolutely amazing and beautiful beyond words. I am grateful to be able and to have experienced these life changing spaces and moments. I wish this for everyone, I truly do. Go live your life, on your terms.
Traveling Alone in 2022
In January of this year I attended Groove Cruise out of Orlando, Florida. I drove down and met friends then traveled over to the coast. We cruised from Port Canaveral to Freeport, Bahamas and back. And that trip my friends is a WHOLE nother story!
In February and March I made another road trip back out west. California and Oregon again. All of this wouldn’t be complete without mentioning Kansas City, Missouri. It’s my jumping point to Colorado and the west. Additionally, I’ve fallen in love with the city and continue to go there.
Shows and Festivals
I’ve done two full on, multi day festivals, Hard Summer 2021 (2 days) and Groove Cruise 2022 (4 days). Groove Cruise was on Royal Caribbean’s Mariner of the Seas. Hard Summer was in San Bernardino, California. I’ve seen a couple of small shows in Chico, California.
What’s Happening Next
In the near future, I’m visiting Forecastle Fest in Louisville, KY for one day only. There’s a trip planned to Las Vegas in the summer and then who knows, perhaps California again. Besides Forecastle, I’m looking at Hard Summer again in July although there is nothing definitive yet.
Later this year I also have Escape Psycho Circus in SoCal already on the books for Halloween. The first one since Eric left. It was his favorite festival above all others. After that, who knows. My schedule is filling up quickly.
Lastly, there has been talk of snowboarding in the fall and winter to prepare for an Alaskan heli/cat skiing trip in February 2023.
If there is anything you want to specifically see or to see me do, write me. Share me with your friends. Please give me feedback, I want to hear from you. Love you all! Xxoo C
This is amazing. Thank you for the words of inspiration, some days I still find it hard to cover the grief. ❤️
Thank you, that means a lot. Girl, it’s hard. No one understands until it’s you. Big hugs xxooC
Great work in taking all of that time and being able to consolidate it – that’s really difficult to do! #winning #betternotbitter
To provide an option on forgetting versus moving on…. So, forgetting happens ONLY with time, and no action is needed. Moving forward ONLY happens when you act. When we are so intwined with a person we love deeply, when they pass away or even to a lesser degree the relationship falls apart, it feels totally like a part of us died with them or left with them and we are left with a gaping hole never to be filled. Then we question if it’s even right to consider allowing life to continue and filling the hole with new experiences. #guilt! BUT… when you choose to move on, the part of your life that you sacrificed to make room for another didn’t die – it went into dormancy. After the loss occurs, it slowly comes back and we feel whole again… We don’t need to do anything to fill up that hole. The part of us we put on hold, which is more that single life, self-dependent and without the need for compromise will slide right back in place. But what you probably won’t ever do is resort back to the life of the person you were. You will always have those, memories and experiences, emotions will always feel like they are there. And that’s good. Because you will handle those reminders as Candice at 100% who you are.
KEEP GOING. KEEP WRITING.
Respectfully yours,
Daniel
Thank you Daniel. Writing has been my calming peace, my salvation, and my therapy. That is the one good thing that has come from this experience.
You are incredible. Believing for even more amazing moments in your life.
I appreciate you so much. You are an amazing person yourself you know?! Thank you for your belief in me. XxooC
I love reading about your travels, Candy, and happy you are doing what you enjoy. Forecastle, Louisville??? I’d love to see you! Take care.
Thank you so much for reading and taking time to comment. I would love to see you as well!! XxooC
Love it!!
Keep doing you girl!!
Thanks for reading! Miss you! XxooC
Just caught up on this! Wow! I remember talking to you about potential travel. So glad you are doing it. Please take a couple days and visit CLE and the islands. Would love to see you!
Thank you I would absolutely love to visit and see you!! Let’s connect this week! Love you!! XxooC
You are so courageous! I don’t even want to travel with Sara. We’re planning to go to New Orleans in September, though. After that — who knows? I’ll be going to Louisville and Indianapolis to sell books this summer, so that’s something, I suppose. Thank you for taking us along on your adventures. Love you!
Thank you, it’s hard. Taking those first few steps outside by myself was the scariest ever. I’m cheering for you! I know you can do it and then tell me all about it!! Love you so much! xxooC