Engagement Ring Shopping, NOT

I love Tiffany & Co. I try to visit every store I can when I find one. The service is exceptional and I just love the iconic jewelry. I enjoy everything about just being inside the store. The quote from Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast At Tiffany’s is true “…nothing very bad could happen to you there.” But this is not a plug for Tiffany’s and that’s not what I was really trying tell you about. Also I need to add my engagement ring did not come from Tiffany’s.

A section of Tiffany’s I usually try to avoid at all costs is the bridal and anniversary section. Because let’s face it. First, I can’t afford anything there. That’s beyond the obvious fact I’m neither getting married or will ever have another anniversary so I figure, hey why tempt myself. Anyway, somehow I ended up strolling through this section in Portland, Oregon over my birthday weekend. I was struck by the Tiffany single solitaire diamond. We’ve all seen it in the magazines. This ring is much more beautiful in person which made me think of my engagement ring with it’s long sorted history.

My Engagement Ring Story

My late husband’s proposal was definitely a story to accompany my engagement ring. Not a beautiful, romantic story as I have heard others tell, but still an interesting one nonetheless. He started by asking what my favorite stone shape was and I answered him with a princess cut. That’s all he needed. He went to a family owned jewelry store and the sales girl helped him pick out a diamond. Then the setting. Side note, after he proposed he tells me he put back the original diamond he chose as he thought it would be “too large and overpower my hand.” To which I thought what girl would ever choose the smaller diamond? But I dared not say that out loud. My ring was gorgeous. The most beautiful ring I had ever seen and my man picked it all out himself. I fell in love with my diamond.

Next he took me on a trip back to his hometown of Valparaiso, Indiana. He waited until my birthday in 1997. We stayed at his friend’s house. We woke up in a small but quant bedroom. He got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. We were married in February the following year.

For our fifth anniversary I asked for more bling. So we traded in my old wedding set, a cathedral platinum setting for a band with more diamonds. This band had a row of 3 baguette diamonds down each side. Again, my man picked this out for me. I loved it. We threw in a plain platinum circular wedding band. This was my set. I wore it with pride and loved it for many years.

Perfectly Imperfect

That was until I broke a prong. I took it in to be repaired. The jewelry store (I won’t mention any names because the story takes a good turn) tried to “fix” it. They destroyed my ring. It could not be fixed. The manager refused to give me a new one or replace the diamond prong setting. It never looked the same. I was devastated. For over ten years I had a ring that brought me to tears when I looked at it. I couldn’t wear it. So I put it away.

Then one day, I was working at the mall. A new manager from the same jewelry store was in shopping. She handed me a card trying to recruit me or anyone I knew. I told her my story. She invited me to bring my ring in. My hopes were not high. She had the diamond setting replaced and made it look just like it did when I bought it. All for free. I cried, and cried some more. I loved my ring again.

Lost And Found

Fast forward now to about two weeks before my husband died. We travelled south to our daughter’s wedding. I tore my jewelry box apart on my closet floor looking for something borrowed for her to wear. My engagement ring had fallen on the carpet and I didn’t see it when I returned everything back to my jewelry box. After we returned home, and exactly six days before he passed, my husband found my ring on the carpet. He commented “here’s your engagement ring” and laid it on the shelf in the closet. Then he died.

I was going through things shortly after just putting valuables together and I saw my ring. Sitting there, on the shelf he put it on. He was the last person to touch my engagement ring, and there it was. This ring that had meant so much to the two of us. A promise between us. Till death do us part. I put it on and wore it for many months. Then I took it off.

Another Reminder

My moment in Tiffany’s reminded me of my perfect, beautiful ring. A symbol of a life and a union that no longer exists. As I have been reminded several times during my new widowhood, I am no longer considered married. I can’t wear it. I don’t know what to do with it. At this moment in time, I can’t bear the thought of removing the diamonds or shaping it into something else. Maybe that will come in time. I’m finding a lot of things I can’t hold onto anymore but I am unable to let go of.

So for once, Tiffany’s was not my happy place but a crossroads for me. I realized I will always live with one foot in this life, and one in that one. These moments will continue to come. For how long, I don’t have the answer to that. Thanks for reading. xxooC

Is there anything you have been holding onto from a life you no longer have?