Tag Archives: #journey

My Food Journey

January 29, 2023 The Blue Widow Leave a comment

Journey Setbacks Suck

I’ve suffered some setbacks lately. Both mentally and physically. I found out last year through a DNA sensitivity test, that I am super sentsitive to certain foods. I kind of already knew it but, this completely confirmed it. The majority of people have food sensitivities and don’t even know it. I was one of those people. Don’t let anyone or any doctor tell you differently. Food sensitivies can wreak havoc in gut. The gut controls the immune system. When the immune system fails, the body is open to other diseases including auto-immune disorders. This is where my food journey begins.

All of what I’m about to tell you is what prompted me to write this article about my food journey. Because a couple of weeks ago, I ate a whole bunch of things I shouldn’t have. This really caused a screw up in my digestive system as well as inflamation throughout my entire body. On top of this bodily stress from food, this caused my mental stress to multiply. Coupled with the anxiety of a new job, a new city, a new living space…well you get where I’m going.

NOTE: I’ve inserted lots of links to outside websites explaining medical definitions and explainations. Just click on any to learn more about that topic. Thanks!

Food Journey Version 1.0

My food journey started way back in my late twenties. First I was diagnosed with hypo-thyroidism. This resulted in medication. Second was arthritis. More medication. Third was chronic fatigue syndrome. Even more medication. Amphetamines were prescribed at one point just because my energy level had dropped so low.

Then by my mid thirties I was a wreck. I broke my first bone in 2005. My endocrinologist sent me for a DEXA bone scan. This is a test that measures bone density. I was borderline osteopenia. More medication was prescribed and this is where I said STOP! I truly believe we have to become our own advocates when the medical system isn’t working in our favor. So I started reading, and reading, and more reading.

Version 1.5

I learned almost all illnesses start from bad gut health. This is a whole ‘nother topic and I’ve included some links if you want to explore this more. If you are experiencing symptoms, I highly recommend digging deeper. The results will shock you. Anyway, I had been fasting off and on for quite some time and I always felt amazing during a cleanse. So I felt I was on the right path with the food thing. Not knowing how to proceed and not having enough information yet, I suffered for many years to come.

Then, in my early forties, after many attempts to clean up my diet, nothing seemed to be working. I felt the worse I had felt in my entire life. Then I suffered my second bone break in 2013. The results of my most recent bone scan showed I was creeping up to osteoporosis. I couldn’t open my hands in the morning from pain and inflammation. My body constantly ached like the flu. My brain was foggy all day. Moodiness, yes. Irregularity, yes. No strength, no energy, no motivation, constant digestive issues, that was all me. So I decided to do something.

me with a boot on my first after second break my food journey

Important Food Discoveries

My first attempt was to cut out the big 6 for 4 months. That was wheat, dairy, alcohol, caffeine, corn, and sugar. Yes it was difficult but well worth it. After reintroducing each one, I’ve found that all of them affect me in some way. Gluten? Any gluten more than a couple of bites at all, I can’t digest it. Corn? In excess, inflammation ie: arthritis symptoms. Caffeine? Tummy issues immediately. Sugar? In excess, bloating and swelling of hands and feet. Alcohol? It all depends. Dairy? Well that depends too.

I want to point out here there is a BIG difference between allergy and intolerance regarding food. Click on the link to discover more. With this knowledge, I slowly started to change my diet. Eat more good stuff and avoid the known issues. Meanwhile, I cut out a considerable amount of medications. Finally, I was down to just the ones for thyroid support and bone loss.

Bone Broth!

I also wanted to add that I started making bone broth for collagen support. Super easy to do in a crock pot and I can’t say enough about how good it made me feel. If you want my recipe just ask. It’s nothing complicated and I will be happy to share. I just took a recipe off the web and changed it up a bit to suit my taste. Yes, collagen is readily available through many powders, premade broths, drinks, shots. However you choose to consume is great. I just realized I could make it for cheap and I loved the taste of mine.

The Turning Point

After a while I became acutely in tune with my body. I knew there were other consumptions not working for me but I couldn’t quite figure it all out. Lastly, about a year ago, I took a DNA food profile from 5 Strands. (Not A Paid Advertisement!) This test was the key I needed to successfully change the path of my food journey. There it was in black and white. Actually it’s white, green, orange, and red but there it was. Some things I knew, some were not a surprise and some were a complete surprise! Lots of foods I thought were safe were in fact, really irritating my body. Armed with this knowledge, I can now make better food choices.

So this leads me full circle to why I feel so terrible now. I ate a ton of corn along with a few other things on my red list. This was two weeks ago and my hands still hurt. And there you have it. My food journey is constantly evolving as I dabble in scrumptious meals I shouldn’t but grocery shop like I should. I read labels, and avoid the foods that make me super sick when I can. Changing one’s diet is a lifestyle. It takes time. Also lots of knowledge.

Anyone have issues you suspect is related to food sensitivites/intolerances? I want to hear. Thanks for reading xxooC.

Thoughts and Notes, Uncategorized

Self Love. How I am rebuilding.

September 13, 2022 The Blue Widow 5 Comments

What is Self Love?

“Self love” is not to be taken as vanity. When I say self love, I mean learning to like myself. This means accepting me, my body, the imperfections, the mental states I fluctuate through, the flaws, all of it. In a previous article, I talked a little bit about learning to love myself again. After the trauma of losing my husband, I can honestly say I lost myself. Completely. I became a shell of the person I was.

Finding My Self

At first, everyone kept telling me to be kind to myself. Back then I had no idea what that meant. All I knew then was that I didn’t like myself, the world, and everything around me. I didn’t really care about myself anymore, neither physically or emotionally. Looking back, I think some of these feelings are normal. Especially at the beginning stages of grief. But they are undoubtedly destructive and traumatic.

Finding any acceptance and self love again is a process. One that can be long and complicated regardless of the circumstances which caused the loss. Also, the process can quickly become stalled or derailed for any number of reasons. Sometimes the path forward is very unclear.

As I began to travel and spend more time with myself, I realized I didn’t really know “me” at all anymore. I had to get reacquainted with things I liked doing, foods I liked eating, and so on.

sunflowers on my morning walk rebuilding self love

How I Started Rebuilding Self Love

Below is a list of 10 things I started practicing regularly. Small things I keep coming back to. Even when I’m traveling, I try to be mindful of the small rituals. They also provide stability in my life when the world around me is changing. Each one has helped me on my journey to regain self acceptance and build my self love.

This is how I regained some self love in a few quick steps.

Set an early alarm.
Whatever time I have to get up, I set a separate, earlier alarm.
This allows me reflection and relaxation time. I can lay there and enjoy a few minutes of the morning before starting my day. Sometimes I get up and look outside. Other times I lay with my eyes closed and focus on what I want to accomplish today. Most times I just use it to enjoy how good the warm bed feels. This sets the tone for the rest of the day.
Allow one indulgence every day.
This can be as simple as a favorite coffee creamer. Try a new scent in the shower. Listen to water falling or birds chirping. Can’t get outside? Here’s my quick search on Amazon Music of nature sounds to try. Stop and enjoy the smell of fresh flowers or essential oils. Pet an animal and feel the soft fur. I Indulge my senses in something that brings me joy at least once a day. The feeling stays with me and instantly puts me in a good mood.
Don’t look in the mirror too much.
Of course I need to be presentable but I don’t linger in the mirror like I did in my younger years. At first, after the trauma event, I didn’t look in the mirror at all. This was me avoiding my self care. Then I looked in the mirror too much, obsessing over what I had neglected. The road to acceptance was somewhere between getting ready, self affirming that I looked ok, then not looking again. Unless it was an occasion glance when I visited a wash room. You’ll be surprised how much your appearance starts to take a back seat to whatever else is going on for the day.
Do something that makes you feel good about your body.
Again, this is involving the senses. I purposefully do one thing, everyday that makes my body feel good. It can be taking a walk (my energy level is still low) lotioning myself (my skin is perpetually dry). At night, whitening my teeth is an occasional “feel good” thing I do after brushing and flossing. Polishing my nails with a clear coat is another big one.
Laugh.
This sounds simple and really it isn’t. Sometimes I don’t feel like laughing. Some days are just too intense. Those are the days I try hard to find something funny. The other day it was reading my daughter’s old school journals from elementary school. I try to laugh at least once a day. Maybe it’s looking through memes on social media. I have my Instagram feed set so I see funny memes and tweets. I often share them with family members when I know they will love them too. A shared laugh is always doubly sweet.
Provide service to someone else.
This one doesn’t have to be difficult unless you make it. It can be as big or as little as you are comfortable with. I have made it a habit to open doors for others. Ask if an elderly person needs help with their groceries in the parking lot. Let someone in when they are trying to merge in traffic. Simply put, make someone else’s day better.
Don’t be judgmental.
If someone else is doing something I don’t like and it’s not directly bothering me, I walk away. The energy wasted on just even thinking negative thoughts is not worth it. That energy can be used in a more positive, productive way that will make me feel better. Just don’t do it.
Eat slowly and make proper food choices.
This is a huge one for me. I struggle with food constantly. My eating habits have changed drastically in the past two years and I tend to eat very unhealthy. So when I haven’t chosen the smartest meal, I chew slowly to enjoy each bite and I leave some on the plate. Simple. It works for me. I also try not to beat myself up about what I’m eating. Tomorrow is another day to do better.
Don’t over drink alcohol.
You knew this was going to be in here somewhere. I tend to drink too much. When I do, it’s not pretty and I end up eating too much also. I start to hate myself. I feel terrible later. Both mentally and physically.
Now when I think I’ve drank too much, I try to drink a LOT of water before going to sleep. And I mean a lot! But, I wouldn’t have to if I just didn’t drink so much. These are just suggestions and tips. I’m still working on this one.
End the day with gratitude.
When I’m laying in bed at night, just before I close my eyes, I try to reflect on the day. I try to find at least one thing I am grateful for in that day. Maybe it’s seeing friends and family. Sometimes it’s something I’ve experienced. Other times it’s a polite comment someone has payed me which takes me back to 6 and 7. I bought a journal (sponsored) in Florida that helped me document my goals and gratitude daily. If it helps to journal, then definitely do it. I highly recommend it.

It Really Is That Simple

So there you have it. I’ve tried to make it as simple as I can. I wanted to share the things I’ve been practicing. No, I am not a master at any of them. On certain days I find some of these are more difficult than others. I don’t do every one every day. Though again I will say, tomorrow is another day to do better. And as time flows on, I believe they’ve helped me. Finally, building self love is a journey and any progress is still progress. Baby steps.

Good luck and let me know what works for you! Do you have any suggestions for things you use?

Love you all. xxooC

Thoughts and Notes, Uncategorized

Reconnecting After Grief

June 7, 2022 The Blue Widow 6 Comments

The Grieving Process

the stages of grief, reconnecting after grief

Grief has no time limit. I’ve heard that a lot. I’ve also read there are stages to grief. Some professionals say there are 5 stages, some say 7 stages. I’m not trying to tell you some doctor has all of the answers. Personally I think it’s all garbage because every person is different. Every person deals with grief in their own way and no way is right or wrong. My personal opinion however is that grief never leaves. So I wanted to talk about the struggle of reconnecting after grief.

I chose to limit my world. I disconnected from just about everyone and everything. My psyche had to. My journey is much different than most but still I walk the path with everyone else suffering with loss in one way or another. Grief is grief.

quote from the after glow reconnecting after grief

As you know, this blog isn’t about me reconnecting to anything really. It’s about putting my own personal journeys out there because well, I was asked to. Maybe not by you in particular but the one reoccurring statement I kept hearing was “I would love to do what you’re doing. You should write about it.” And so I realized I was doing something I had always wanted to do but life gets in the way of the best intentions and dreams. When all of those things I valued in life were shattered into a million pieces, I simply started doing what made me feel ok in that moment.

Reconnecting to Possibilities

When Eric and I first visited Sanibel Island, Florida all those years ago (about 22 years ago I think), the internet wasn’t what it is today. Review sites didn’t exist. There were still hard copy guest books in the condos. I remember reading an entry from someone who had stayed in our condo for 4 weeks prior and I thought to myself, “where would one be in life to be able to just go and stay a month on the beach?” What would that take to be possible, as working remotely also wasn’t a thing back then. I had a child, 2 jobs, a husband, a house, numerous animals and lots of other obligations in my young adult life. That thought has always stuck with me until I had none of those things any more. Ok, well maybe the animals. They keep multiplying no matter what I do.

Reconnecting After Grief

My decision to travel also came with a price. Reconnection. Reconnection to the world and to people I wasn’t sure I was ready for. I found reconnecting to anything in my prior life extremely difficult and uncomfortable. That’s why my very first trip to Sanibel Island was Traveled Alone. I knew the place. I loved it. It was solitude. A place to recharge and make some important discoveries and decisions about the direction I wanted to go next. None of those things actually happened of course. I spent most of the time crying, and drinking, and crying some more. And then drinking some more. What did happen though was I met two women. They were both widows. They didn’t know each other, I met them each at separate times.

One was a sales associate in a toy store. After her loss, she packed up and moved across Florida. She started a life where no one knew her. She keeps in contact with her children and grandchildren but that’s it. The other was a real estate agent. She too sold or donated everything she owned, packed up and moved to a different city to start over.

I would have never met either of them if I hadn’t shared my story first. Even though their events were distant memories of a life long gone I could still see their buried, very familiar pain. This made me wonder, am I really going to ever get “better” or does time simply change the physical circumstances? I still don’t have an answer to that question. But each of them figured out what was needed to reconnect to something. That gave me a shred of hope.

What Reconnecting Looks Like Now

When we have nothing anything is possible. I try to remind myself of this frequently. Don’t even get me started on the “stuff” aspect. Decluttering and my views on “things” in general have shifted 180* since moving in 2019. I think that might be another post eventually.

My point is this, reconnecting is hard but sometimes necessary. After loss, it’s even more difficult and deeply personal. I’m taking one connection at a time. There was a time when I couldn’t. At all. Not today. Then tomorrow came and maybe it was just one person. Now I’ve become good at navigating multiple people on a daily basis but I don’t make apologies when I can’t. Oh, and internally nothing has really changed from day 10, to day 100, to day 450 in my grief journey. I’m not some rock star and I haven’t gotten anything figured out. I may look like I have a lot of fun on my adventures and I do. I also still do a lot of crying and that’s ok.

I’m not the same person I was before June two years ago. I don’t have the same relationships I did then. Some are better, some not so much. Some not at all. That’s ok too. With reconnecting comes discovery and acceptance. If you too are on a journey where you’re finding it hard to connect, know your people are out there. You just may not have connected yet. What’s been your struggle?

Thanks for reading. xxooC

Thoughts and Notes, Uncategorized

Spreading Ashes -Our Final Journey

May 15, 2022 The Blue Widow 8 Comments

Before the Spreading:

Spreading ashes. Wow, this topic is so personal. Widows I’ve met and everyone in my grief groups agree this to be a taboo topic. Everyone has a different idea of what is “ok” to do with human cremains. I knew I wanted to do something to honor him. I didn’t want to just leave him in a jar on top of whatever dresser. But what felt right? We never talked about these sorts of things but I feel after spending 23 years together, I have a pretty good idea of what he thought and felt about everything.

I carried him around for a while, (in the urn and then eventually in a small baggie) before spreading his ashes. When the time came, I started in SoCal. Then it all did just feet right.

During the Spreading:

San Bernardino, the scene of so many raves and so many great memories we shared. I took him to Hard Summer on his birthday in July 2021. It was just a few minutes before midnight and I was beyond incoherent. I suddenly remembered I had planned on spreading his ashes, at least the part I had brought with me. I had tucked him into my shoe and was pretty much walking around on him the whole night. Did I mention I was beyond wasted?? Anyway….

The pond at NOS Center for Hard Summer 2021

Me and my friends Sam and Kristian at Hard Summer 2021 before spreading ashes

With my friends Sam and Kristian, we headed to a spot Eric and I had frequented on our journeys there. We found the smallest of spots in the earth that wasn’t covered in astroturf and I spread him there. Under a tree. There to rest and party with all that comes next. It brings a gentle smile when I see someone else post a picture of that spot.

The pond NOS where we liked to go during a show

Eric and I at Escape Show in San Bernardino 2018

After that, I realized he would not want me to hoard his ashes. Now I carry him everywhere I go. We had never went to Colorado although it was on the list of places to visit. After climbing past the tree line on Mt. Antero, I knew this was a place he should be. So I left him there too.

Mt Antero where I spread my husband's ashes

Next up was another Colorado visit. This time to Denver and Red Rocks. Red Rocks was on the bucket list. What made this special was one of his favorite artists BTSM (Black Tiger Sex Machine) was playing their final show for 2021. The same show I had booked tickets in Chicago for in April 2020. The show was canceled due to Covid. He was so disappointed. So when this show was announced, I knew I needed to take him. Here Kristian and I are again. I know he would have loved it.

If you’ve ever been to Red Rocks you know there isn’t much earth. Some dusty areas here and there. We picked a spot between two trees.

Peace of dusty ground at Red Rocks where I spread my husband's ashes

I know this is super dark, but it’s all we got!!

The next spot I felt called to was Sanibel Island, Florida. Eric and I had spent a couple of vacations there in the early 2000’s. They were good memories and I had made some more of my own great memories there since then, so I waited until the new moon and spread him at dusk.

The beach where I spread my husband's ashes

Sand in Sanibel Island, Florida where I spread my husband's ashes

In January this year, Groove Cruise 2022 came. Eric and I had passed up the opportunity to take this cruise twice already. I booked it. Not knowing what to expect or how I was even going to get there. I took him. I decided to spread him on the beach in Freeport, Bahamas. We had never been there but I knew when I set foot on the beach that he would have loved it and he was definitely there in spirit. We all felt him.

This is Sam and I and I feel like there is a picture floating around out there somewhere. This photo is taken close to where we left him. The beach itself was nothing spectacular. The vibe however was something indescribable.

Sam and I on the beach in Freeport, Bahamas before spreading ashes

The next spot was completely unexpected. The Cascade Canyon Wye, his third place in Colorado. It was completely spontaneous yet so beautiful I couldn’t not.

At the Cascade Wye during the spreading of my husband's ashes

Me spreading my husband's ashes at the Cascade Wye in Colorado

After the Spreading:

After this, I always take a little of Eric with me wherever I go. I know he would think what I’m doing is the coolest thing ever. He was such a free spirit. I plan to hit up some of his usual places eventually. Spreading him has made me feel lighter, freer and more peaceful.

So that’s it for now. I’ll update you whenever I decide a place is worthy. I’ve been to quite a few places I feel like I should have and didn’t, but now that’s just an excuse to go back. Thanks for reading and please leave me feedback. I love hearing from you!

Destinations, Uncategorized

My Personal Tour of Chicago Lakefront Parks

May 12, 2022 The Blue Widow 4 Comments

Let’s Begin My Personal Tour

I’m so excited to give you my personal tour. Chicago has been a favorite destination of mine for a long time. The city offers so much to do, see, and experience. Besides housing great works of art, these parks also host a variety of events throughout the year.

The reason I wanted to highlight these two parks specifically was this. As I travel around and I talk about places I love, Chicago seems to be a place where I frequently hear the phrase “I would love to see Chicago, especially the Bean and the waterfront.” Well, as I was looking through photos, I came across some I just wanted to share with you!

These are just some highlights this space has to offer!

The Bean. My picture of Cloudgate for my personal tour of downtown Chicago.

First Stop On My Personal Tour- The Bean of Course

My personal tour begins with the Bean. Specifically it’s name is Cloud Gate and it’s located in Millennium Park. The reflections leave me in awe and I just can’t get enough of this space. I have sat here for hours one day.

According to MillenniumPark.org, “Cloud Gate was created by using computer technology to cut 168 massive stainless-steel plates into precise shapes which were then pieced together like a puzzle and welded shut. Once fully assembled, the 12-foot-high central arch provided a “gate” to the concave chamber on the underside of the sculpture prompting Kapoor to formally name the piece Cloud Gate. A network of two large internal rings connects a truss that allowed the sculpture to be assembled and direct the weight to two points at the base. The stainless-steel skin was attached to the internal structure with flexible connectors that allow it to expand and contract in response to the extreme weather conditions in Chicago. The cost of Cloud Gate was completely underwritten by the Millennium Park Foundation using funds from private donors.”

Second Stop On My Personal Tour- The Famous Buckingham Fountain.

According to Chicago Park District website, the fountain opened in May of 1927.

“The Clarence Buckingham Memorial Fountain, one of the largest in the world, is located at Columbus Drive (301 East) and Congress Parkway (500 South) in Grant Park and runs from 8 a.m. to 11:00 p.m. daily, typically from early May through mid-October, depending on weather. Display times are subject to change during special events in Grant Park.”

“While in operation, the Fountain produces a major water display for 20 minutes every hour. During the major display, a center jet shoots water to a height of 150 feet into the air. Major displays begin daily at 9:00 a.m. and continue thereafter, every hour on the hour. Beginning at dusk, a spectacular light and music display accompanies the major display, beginning every hour on the hour for 20 minutes. Each evening, the final major display begins at 10:35 p.m.”

Buckingham Fountain. My picture on my personal tour/

The first time I saw this fountain I was running through the park one morning. It stopped me in my tracks. The sheer size of it is enormous. This space is also worth some time just sitting. There are plenty of places for that too.

Me in front of Buckingham Fountain on my personal tour

The Next Stop- The Agora.

My personal tour takes us back to Grant Park. Chicago.gov says this installation is “comprised of 106 nine-foot tall headless torsos made of cast iron, the artwork derives it name from the Greek word for meeting place. The figures are posed walking in groups in various directions or standing still. Internationally renowned artist Magdalena Abakanowicz donated the sculptural group along with the Polish Ministry of Culture, a Polish cultural foundation, and other private donors.”

I barely reach half way up the statue! Standing in the daylight with their shadows all around you is an experience I highly recommend.

the agora in grant park on my personal tour

We’re Almost Done- Metal Flowers!

I was running through the park on another occasion and came upon these flowers. My personal tour would not be complete without showing you lilies made from car parts. Honestly I had no idea they were car parts at the time. I just learned that little nugget when I was writing this.

The flowers are part of a 2006 “Allstate Insurance Company sponsored the Artists and Automobiles exhibit in honor of the company’s 75th anniversary.”

I’m not sure whether my photos are Dessa Kirk’s or John Mason’s flowers or both. The best information I could find about them is here at the Chicago Park District website. I just think they are unusually beautiful.

metal flower in grant park on my personal tour

The Last Stop On My Personal Tour- Spirit Of Music Artwork.

It was erected in 1923 according to Chicago Parks and is by artist Albin Polasek.

Art Statue in Grant Park on My personal tour

Please click on the links provided to learn more about the works in each photo as well as other interesting features, sculptures, and things to see in these two fabulous parks.

Well that’s it for now. This concludes my personal tour for you. These are just some of the highlights I chose to photograph. Again, I make no claims to being a photographer and I usually won’t edit my photos for you.

I know this is just a couple of my favorites and you may have your own. Let me know what yours is! Thanks for reading and I wanted to mention, all of my photos are originals taken by me from 2016-2021.

Thoughts and Notes, Uncategorized

Traveling Alone. A Personal Story.

May 10, 2022 The Blue Widow 18 Comments

Why I’m Traveling Alone

Hi there, I think it’s time we address this topic. Yes, I have been traveling alone for the past 2 years. I decided early on that I would never turn down an invitation. That means I am usually en-route to see friends or family. I believe getting there is half the adventure!

Me at Cascade Canyon Wye, Colorado. Traveling alone.

Yes…undoubtedly there are some of you I haven’t gotten to yet. My apologies and promise I will reach out to see you soon!!

I believe what few understand is the trauma surrounding grief. There is a lasting physical and mental trauma that no matter how much medication and therapy it never goes away.

I won’t mince words here. In June 2020 I was stricken with unbelievable panic disorder, PTSD, and complicated grief. The best one can hope for is to bury it, disguise it, learn to function throughout the day to appear normal on the surface. Subsequently I’m still working on all of that. I can’t say I’ve found the answers to anything. What I did know is I had to keep moving for my own sanity. Make no mistake, I mean moving not moving forward. Moving forward after loss is still a concept I haven’t made sense of nor pretend to understand.

Sanibel Island beach, florida. Traveling alone

Sunset in Venice, Florida. Traveling alone

The Beginning of My Journey

My first trip booked was to Sanibel, FL by way of Venice, FL. To quote my therapist “the only person stopping you is you.” The most profound words I have ever heard. I booked the trip and off I went. It was scary, it was liberating, it was self serving, it was eye opening.

Salt Flats outside Sale Lake City, Utah. Traveling alone in my truck.

Salt flats outside Salt Lake City, Utah. Traveling alone in my truck.

The next trip was out west. I thought well…”if I can do Florida, I can do the west coast.” And again, off I went. I journeyed to Redding, CA, then to San Bernardino, CA (which may turn into another post hopefully) and as a result, has led me to even greater adventures.

On the road in Colorado. Traveling alone.

How It’s Going- Traveling Alone

Now, for those of you wondering where and what I’ve been doing, here’s a little run down. From California in late summer 2021, I ventured up to Portland and Bend, Oregon. I made a mini road trip to Seattle, Washington. I’ve been to Buena Vista, Colorado Springs, and Denver, Colorado. I fit in a quick trip to Chicago, IL. I even went to visit my people in middle Illinois that summer too. Hey peeps I see you!! I’m absolutely positive I left some places out.

I used to hate driving but now I love it. It’s really all about time. Driving is annoying and counter productive when time is limited and valuable. Whenever time is no longer a factor, driving can surprisingly be the best way to get around. I can take whatever I want and stay as long or as little as I want.

Wintering in Florida

After the summer adventures out west, I traveled again to Florida in the fall. I was fortunate enough to see the keys for the first time in my life. It was in late 2021 and I kept thinking “why have I not been here sooner?” Key West and Key Largo were absolutely amazing and beautiful beyond words. I am grateful to be able and to have experienced these life changing spaces and moments. I wish this for everyone, I truly do. Go live your life, on your terms.

Me laying on the beach in Sanibel, Fl. Traveling Alone.

Traveling Alone in 2022

In January of this year I attended Groove Cruise out of Orlando, Florida. I drove down and met friends then traveled over to the coast. We cruised from Port Canaveral to Freeport, Bahamas and back. And that trip my friends is a WHOLE nother story!

In February and March I made another road trip back out west. California and Oregon again. All of this wouldn’t be complete without mentioning Kansas City, Missouri. It’s my jumping point to Colorado and the west. Additionally, I’ve fallen in love with the city and continue to go there.

The squad out for the night on Mariner of the Seas. Groove Cruise 2022

The squad in an elevator on Mariner of the Seas. Groove Cruise 2022

Shows and Festivals

I’ve done two full on, multi day festivals, Hard Summer 2021 (2 days) and Groove Cruise 2022 (4 days). Groove Cruise was on Royal Caribbean’s Mariner of the Seas. Hard Summer was in San Bernardino, California. I’ve seen a couple of small shows in Chico, California.

What’s Happening Next

In the near future, I’m visiting Forecastle Fest in Louisville, KY for one day only. There’s a trip planned to Las Vegas in the summer and then who knows, perhaps California again. Besides Forecastle, I’m looking at Hard Summer again in July although there is nothing definitive yet.

Later this year I also have Escape Psycho Circus in SoCal already on the books for Halloween. The first one since Eric left. It was his favorite festival above all others. After that, who knows. My schedule is filling up quickly.

Lastly, there has been talk of snowboarding in the fall and winter to prepare for an Alaskan heli/cat skiing trip in February 2023.

If there is anything you want to specifically see or to see me do, write me. Share me with your friends. Please give me feedback, I want to hear from you. Love you all! Xxoo C

Destinations, Uncategorized

A Castle in Colorado, Visiting Bishop Castle

May 8, 2022 The Blue Widow 2 Comments

First Impressions

First off, I want to say when I decided to visit a castle in Colorado, this was not what I was expecting. I knew nothing about this place beforehand. After driving more than hour, what I encountered was easily something out of fairytales and days gone by.

Parking was on the road and I had to walk up a hill before the whole area came into view. Then I was completely amazed. Bishop Castle is free to visit and it is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Enter at your own risk!

A Little History About The Castle in Colorado

From the website Bishop Castle this was the dream of Jim Bishop and he has been working on construction for more than 60 years. There are 3 floors with a grand ball room, lots of staircases, landings, and little secret spots.

Navigating The Castle Interior

No part of the castle is off limits but be warned. The staircases are narrow and lots of landings are high. Although there is railing, one could easily go off or over. The floors are well, sketchy in parts but the views are worth it.

the glass ceiling of the grand hall. castle in colorado. bishop castle.

standing outside the roof of the grand hall. castle in colorado. bishop castle.

ceiling of the grand hall. castle in colorado — This is the ceiling in the grand ball room from inside.

The history page on the website is fascinating and full of information about how the castle came to be. It tells that at the tallest point the castle stands at roughly 160 feet. The Learn and explore page gives more information about the dragon and how it was born.

castle in colorado. bishop castle in rye, colorado.

The website and signs say that from the beginning and subsequently, until the addition of the gift shop, the castle relied solely on donations.

The gift shop can be seen in the distance.

So if you ever find yourself out near Rye, Colorado, the Bishop Castle is a must see. You won’t be disappointed. I’ve heard it’s gorgeous at night also. Remember it NEVER closes! Thanks for reading!

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First Impressions

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Navigating The Castle Interior

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