#bluewidow

March 24, 2024

Is it Moving On OR Forgetting: The Analyzing

The writer shares her journey of grappling with the loss of her husband and navigating the realm of companionship as a widow. She emphasizes the need to take things at one’s own pace, honoring the deceased spouse, and seeking new connections. Safety precautions and self-protection are highlighted. The message promotes self-determination and finding purpose in… Continue reading

Thoughts and Notes

#bluewidow, #findingpeace, #grief, #peace, #widow, #widowblog
April 30, 2023

When There Is Just More: A Grief Trigger I Didn’t See Coming

Just More Unexpected Trauma It happened again today. Another flashback, just more trauma. Reliving the “thing” I don’t want to think about, let alone discuss. But there it was. I think this whole experience is all part of reconnecting with the world. After a traumatic event, it’s hard to be part of something. Because being… Continue reading

Thoughts and Notes, Uncategorized

#bluewidow, #findingpeace, #grief, #loss, #peace, #trauma, #unexpected, #widow, #widowchronicles
March 16, 2023

Connecting With Another Widow: Finding Comfort in Shared Grief

Not like the Others I had a moment today. Something insanely karmic happened. I knew it when I was experiencing the moment that it was something uniquely special and there was a lesson here for me. Here in this moment. In this person I had just met and was talking with. I’ve had these random,… Continue reading

Thoughts and Notes, Uncategorized

#bluewidow, #findingpeace, #grief, #travel, #widow
March 12, 2023

Cat Tales or is it Tails?

Felines on my Mind It’s snowing here in my little slice of Chicago. I woke up this morning with a heavy heart. My last dream was about Lucy. I’ve been playing with the idea of getting another cat for a while but somehow I can’t commit. I guess I feel like it’s just not the… Continue reading

Thoughts and Notes, Uncategorized

#allthecats, #bluewidow, #cats, #cattales, #humor, #kitty, #kittylove, #widow, #widowchronicles
February 26, 2023

Honoring My Late Husband in a Place He Loved

Leaving More of Myself I’ve been staring at a blank screen for a couple of hours now. I’m not sure why I’m having such a hard time starting this article. My late husband’s ashes rest in many places I’ve visited in the two and half years since he left. I expected the ceremonial process and… Continue reading

Destinations, On The Road, Thoughts and Notes

#bluewidow, #findingpeace, #grief, #kentucky, #loss, #peace, #travel, #widow, roadtrip
November 22, 2022

Times Change

Times Change. Love Doesn’t Seasons change and so does life. Life goes on even after someone we love dies. The death is a huge loss and an unmistakable marker in the life of the persons that loved them. However time is both forgiving and not. Times change and time changes things. It helps move around… Continue reading

On The Road, Thoughts and Notes, Uncategorized

#adventure, #bluewidow, #chicago, #findingpeace, #grief, #moving, #newspace, #widow
September 13, 2022

Rebuilding Yourself After Loss: 10 Ways I Found Self-Love Again

What Self-Love Looked Like After Loss “Self love” is not to be taken as vanity. When I say self love, I mean learning to like myself. This means accepting me, my body, the imperfections, the mental states I fluctuate through, the flaws, all of it. In a previous article, I talked a little bit about… Continue reading

Thoughts and Notes, Uncategorized

#adventure, #bluewidow, #findingpeace, #grief, #journey, #lost, #love, #peace, #rebuilding, #rebuildingmyself, #selflove, #travel, #widow, #widowchronicles
September 2, 2022

Surviving the Loss of a Spouse: Learning to Live With Grief

Preface: I wrote “Surviving Loss” six months ago. It truly is a piece on reflections. Where I was then is not where I am now. In six months, I have had two celebrations of life for Eric. I have journeyed to new places I have never been before. Seen things I’ve never seen and experienced… Continue reading

Thoughts and Notes, Uncategorized

#bluewidow, #findingpeace, #grief, #learning, #living, #newlife, #peace, #reconnecting, #surviving, #survivingloss, #trauma, #widow, #widowchronicles
August 19, 2022

Celebration of Life for My Husband: What I Wished I Had Said

Planning a Celebration of Life for My Husband My late husband Eric was never one to have anyone to make a fuss over him. His birthdays were never a big deal. I am absolutely positive he wouldn’t want his death to be a big deal either. But yet I felt I had to do something… Continue reading

Destinations, Thoughts and Notes

#adventure, #anxiety, #anxietydisorder, #bluewidow, #death, #findingpeace, #grief, #lakeshelby, #loss, #memorial, #peace, #remembering, #shelbyvillekentucky, #travel, #wanderlust, #widow, #widowchronicles
August 17, 2022

Sudden Loss vs. Expected Loss: Trying to Understand My Grief

First Comes Loss I’ve experienced more loss in the past two years than I have in my entire life. I am quite sure other folks have had much more than me so I am in no way saying I am special. But with the passing of Lucy, I was able to watch her go. I’ve… Continue reading

Thoughts and Notes, Uncategorized

#adventure, #bluewidow, #findinghope, #findingpeace, #grief, #hope, #loss, #peace, #ptsd, #trauma, #travel, #widow, #widowchronicles
August 11, 2022

Kitty Love, Saying Goodbye

How We Met July 2002 was extra special. That was the year my kitty love Lucy was born. And, the month we met. My in-laws had a pay lake out in Waddy, Kentucky. My father-in-law called me a few days after my birthday. He asked if I wanted a kitten that had been orphaned. She… Continue reading

Lucy’s Adventures, Uncategorized

#animallove, #bluewidow, #calico, #cat, #companion, #findingpeace, #goodbye, #grief, #kitten, #kitty, #kittylove, #loss, #love, #mylove, #peace, #travelcat, #widow, #widowchronicles
August 2, 2022

When Grief and Trauma Aren’t the Same Thing

Grief vs. Trauma After Loss A quick Google search and I found definitions for grief and trauma. Grief is a “deep sorrow caused when something or someone you love has been taken away.” Trauma is an “emotional response to a distressing experience.” So on first glance one would think the two are somewhat related. I… Continue reading

Thoughts and Notes, Uncategorized

#adventure, #bluewidow, #complicatedgrief, #diagnosis, #emdr, #emdrtherapy, #findingpeace, #grief, #griefandtrauma, #healing, #hope, #loss, #peace, #ptsd, #therapy, #trauma, #travel, #widow, #widowchronicles

About The Blue Widow Chronicles and Me

The Blue Widow Chronicles began after my husband, Eric, died suddenly in 2020. I became a widow overnight, and the writing became the place I went to make sense of a life that no longer made sense.

What began as writing through grief has grown with me.

Over the years, I’ve written my way through widowhood, PTSD and trauma, solo travel, love after loss, losing Greg to suicide, starting over, complicated relationships, and the ongoing work of figuring out who I am when the life I once knew no longer exists.

This isn’t a blog about having grief figured out. I write from wherever I actually am—sometimes healing, sometimes questioning, sometimes rebuilding, and sometimes admitting I have no idea what comes next.

Odin and Freija frequently find their way into these pages too, along with the people, places, memories, and ordinary moments that remind me life continues even when it looks nothing like the one I expected.

What You’ll Find Here

The Chronicles are personal essays about grief, trauma, identity, love, relationships, travel, rebuilding, and life after loss. Some were written from inside the experience. Others look back years later with a perspective I couldn’t have had when everything was happening.

There are more than five years of stories here. You don’t need to read them in order. Start wherever something speaks to you.

Beyond the Pages

Some stories can be told publicly. Others need a smaller room.

Beyond the Pages is the more intimate side of The Blue Widow Chronicles on Patreon—a growing private library of previously unpublished journal entries, deeper reflections on the Chronicles, member-only writing, and guided writing resources.

Membership is $5/month and includes access to the complete growing library.

Come further in —Beyond the Pages

#bluewidow

About The Blue Widow Chronicles and Me

What You’ll Find Here

Beyond the Pages

Recent Posts

Newsletter