#bluewidow

July 27, 2022

A Horseback Ride in Colorado

Horseback Ride? Heck YES! While on my second visit to this wildly adventurous state, I took a horseback ride through the mountains. It’s been a minute since I took this trip to Colorado but I’ve been wanting to tell you about it. I’ll begin by saying I had no idea what I was in for… Continue reading

Destinations, Uncategorized

#adventure, #bluewidow, #colorado, #findingpeace, #horse, #horsebackriding, #mountains, #outdoors, #peace, #scenic, #stables, #trails, #travel, #wanderlust, #waterfall, #widow, #widowchronicles, roadtrip
July 22, 2022

Speaking Up and Confronting Fears

Speaking Up with Boundaries I’ve never been the one for speaking up for myself. I admit, I’m a people pleaser. In my childhood I dared not speak my mind. This action always met with fierce condemnation. Therefore I learned quickly not to speak up for myself. This carried into my adolescent and adult life. There… Continue reading

Thoughts and Notes, Uncategorized

#abandonment, #adventure, #anxiety, #anxietydisorder, #behaviors, #bluewidow, #boundaries, #confrontation, #confrontingfear, #fear, #findingpeace, #grief, #love, #peace, #relationships, #roadtrip, #selfdiscovery, #speakingup, #speakup, #widow, #widowchronicles
July 19, 2022

Feeding My California Love

How My California Love Started My love for California started six years ago. I flew in to Ontario airport for the Nocturnal Wonderland Festival in the hills outside San Bernardino. The drive to the hotel was almost an hour. I remember thinking the landscape looked similar to Las Vegas but then it didn’t. That weekend… Continue reading

Destinations, On The Road

#adventure, #attractions, #bluewidow, #california, #californialove, #findingpeace, #grief, #losangeles, #peace, #roadtrip, #sanfrancisco, #tourist, #travel, #wanderlust, #widow, #widowchronicles
July 16, 2022

Tattoo Convention in Pamona, CA

Arriving for the Tattoo Convention I had the good fortune of traveling to California recently. The Body Art Expo in Pamona, California was in June and I attended with my good friend and tattoo artist Rich Shires of Tattoo 42 in Beaverton, Oregon. Flying into LAX on Saturday evening was an experience in itself. I’ve… Continue reading

Destinations, On The Road

#adventure, #bluewidow, #california, #convention, #la, #lax, #losangeles, #roadtrip, #tattoo, #tattooconvention, #travel, #wanderlust, #widow, #widowchronicles
July 11, 2022

Alive and Well in KCMO

Lucy’s Traveling and Health Check Hi everyone! It’s been a few weeks since the last update, and Lucy has been on the go. She is alive and well and made the trip to Indiana and back for the memorial. After Indiana, we traveled to Kansas City, Missouri where she has been for a couple of… Continue reading

Lucy’s Adventures

#adventure, #bluewidow, #cat, #feline, #healthupdate, #kansascity, #kcmo, #kitty, #lucyupdate, #ontheroad, #travel, #travelcat, #wanderlust, #widowchronicles, roadtrip
July 8, 2022

One More Year and Another Birthday

Navigating Another Birthday At the beginning of this journey after losing my spouse, I was unable to cope with my feelings. At all. Unable to feel the correct feelings, or over-feeling, seemed to last longer than I expected. In 2020, my husband left just before my birthday. I had a few friends and family message… Continue reading

Thoughts and Notes, Uncategorized

#adventure, #anotherbirthday, #birthday, #birthdaycake, #bluewidow, #cake, #emotions, #feelings, #findingpeace, #fireworks, #fourthofjuly, #grief, #peace, #travel, #wanderlust, #widow, #widowchronicles
July 3, 2022

My Engagement Ring, A Love Story

Engagement Ring Shopping, NOT I love Tiffany & Co. I try to visit every store I can when I find one. The service is exceptional and I just love the iconic jewelry. I enjoy everything about just being inside the store. The quote from Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast At Tiffany’s is true “…nothing very bad… Continue reading

Thoughts and Notes, Uncategorized

#adventure, #bluewidow, #diamond, #engagement, #engagementring, #findingpeace, #grief, #loss, #love, #peace, #portland, #portlandor, #ring, #roadtrip, #tiffany&co, #travel, #wanderlust, #widow, #widowchronicles
June 17, 2022

Going Home, A Midwest Story

Going Up North The drive didn’t take long. The usual four and a half hours. This trip was different, though. This time, I was going to do something long overdue. My husband is going home. I’m taking his ashes back to his home state of Indiana. I decided to spread part of his ashes on… Continue reading

Destinations, Thoughts and Notes, Uncategorized

#ashes, #bluewidow, #cremains, #findingpeace, #grief, #indiana, #indianabeach, #lake michigan, #memorial, #midwest, #peace, #rememberance, #roadtrip, #spreadingashes, #travel, #wanderlust, #widow, #widowchronicles
June 7, 2022

Reconnecting After Grief: Finding Your Way Back to Life

Grief has no time limit. I’ve heard that a lot. I’ve also read there are stages to grief. Some professionals say there are 5 stages, some say 7 stages. I’m not trying to tell you some doctor has all of the answers. Personally I think it’s all garbage because every person is different. Every person… Continue reading

Thoughts and Notes, Uncategorized

#acceptance, #alone, #bluewidow, #connections, #death, #findingpeace, #grief, #journey, #peace, #process, #reconnecting, #reconnectingaftergrief, #stagesofgrief, #stuggling, #travel, #travelalone, #wanderlust, #widow, #widowchronicles
June 3, 2022

About My Leg: Putting Our Story in Someone Else’s Hands

St. James Here is the other tattoo story I told you I would get to. It’s about my leg. Well, my leg is where it landed, the tattoo was happening regardless. This tattoo idea actually started way back in the early 2000s. If you are a Louisville native, then you probably have heard of the… Continue reading

Destinations, Uncategorized

#adventure, #blacktattoo, #bluewidow, #findingpeace, #florida, #grief, #kanjitattoo, #legtattoo, #newtattoo, #peace, #roadtrip, #sacredarttattoo, #tattoo, #travel, #wanderlust, #widow, #widowchronicles
May 28, 2022

New Tattoos And More Adventure

A different direction I got new tattoos. It’s a subject I haven’t talked about much. The whole process of thinking and doing was all very emotional because as we all know, my old artist (my husband Eric) is no longer with us. This left me with a lot of unfinished work. After owning a tattoo… Continue reading

Destinations, Uncategorized

#adventure, #aftercare, #armtattoo, #beavertonoregon, #bluewidow, #direction, #findingpeace, #grief, #healing, #newtattoo, #peace, #tattoo, #tattoo42, #tattoocoverup, #tattooshop, #tattoowrap, #travel, #wanderlust, #widow, #widowchronicles, roadtrip
May 27, 2022

Pendleton Oregon

Portland to Pendleton Oregon I passed through Pendleton Oregon as I drove Interstate 84 out of The Dulles and the Columbia River Gorge traveling from Portland to Boise. I have driven this stretch of highway twice now and both times was in awe by this mountain that rises up in a distance. The climb is… Continue reading

Destinations, Uncategorized

#adventure, #bluemountains, #bluewidow, #deadmanpass, #findingpeace, #grief, #highway, #lookout, #mountains, #oregon, #peace, #pendletonlookout, #pendletonoregon, #reststop, #travel, #wanderlust, #widow, #widowchronicles, roadtrip

About The Blue Widow Chronicles and Me

The Blue Widow Chronicles began after my husband, Eric, died suddenly in 2020. I became a widow overnight, and the writing became the place I went to make sense of a life that no longer made sense.

What began as writing through grief has grown with me.

Over the years, I’ve written my way through widowhood, PTSD and trauma, solo travel, love after loss, losing Greg to suicide, starting over, complicated relationships, and the ongoing work of figuring out who I am when the life I once knew no longer exists.

This isn’t a blog about having grief figured out. I write from wherever I actually am—sometimes healing, sometimes questioning, sometimes rebuilding, and sometimes admitting I have no idea what comes next.

Odin and Freija frequently find their way into these pages too, along with the people, places, memories, and ordinary moments that remind me life continues even when it looks nothing like the one I expected.

What You’ll Find Here

The Chronicles are personal essays about grief, trauma, identity, love, relationships, travel, rebuilding, and life after loss. Some were written from inside the experience. Others look back years later with a perspective I couldn’t have had when everything was happening.

There are more than five years of stories here. You don’t need to read them in order. Start wherever something speaks to you.

Beyond the Pages

Some stories can be told publicly. Others need a smaller room.

Beyond the Pages is the more intimate side of The Blue Widow Chronicles on Patreon—a growing private library of previously unpublished journal entries, deeper reflections on the Chronicles, member-only writing, and guided writing resources.

Membership is $5/month and includes access to the complete growing library.

Come further in —Beyond the Pages

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About The Blue Widow Chronicles and Me

What You’ll Find Here

Beyond the Pages

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