#death
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A Paranormal Event
An Old House with a History I moved in with my late husband’s father in October of 2020. His wife passed some years before so he had been living alone. There was more than enough room for the two of us. I went in prepared for spiritual activity, knowing three people I know of that… Continue reading
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Living With Less. The Stuff That Matters
Starting With Less I bought my first home when I was 26 years old. I felt like I was on top of the world. It was a two-bedroom condominium in Old Louisville. Two stories with a total of five rooms. Nothing extravagant, but it was mine, and it was nice. I started out living with… Continue reading
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Past and Future Collide: Returning to the Place I Lost My Life
Past and future As some of you know, and many of you don’t, I am a HUGE fan of electronic music of all genres. I discovered an upcoming show by a DJ I like and have seen before. He was coming to my old hometown of Bloomington, Illinois. So I bought tickets. The show was… Continue reading
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Celebration of Life for My Husband: What I Wished I Had Said
Planning a Celebration of Life for My Husband My late husband Eric was never one to have anyone to make a fuss over him. His birthdays were never a big deal. I am absolutely positive he wouldn’t want his death to be a big deal either. But yet I felt I had to do something… Continue reading
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Reconnecting After Grief: Finding Your Way Back to Life
Grief has no time limit. I’ve heard that a lot. I’ve also read there are stages to grief. Some professionals say there are 5 stages, some say 7 stages. I’m not trying to tell you some doctor has all of the answers. Personally I think it’s all garbage because every person is different. Every person… Continue reading
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When You Don’t Get to Say Goodbye After a Sudden Loss
Saying Goodbye is Hard Let’s face it. Goodbye seems so final. Unless you really don’t like someone but that’s not what this is about. A quick Google search led me to an article in Scientific American about the meaning of the word goodbye and why we say it. “It’s a contraction of “God be with… Continue reading
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Spreading My Husband’s Ashes: A Journey Through Grief
My husband died. Read about our final journey together. I’m spreading his ashes in different destinations. Continue reading
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Traveling Alone After Loss: Learning to Keep Moving
The plans below were what I was looking forward to when I originally wrote this in 2022. Why I Started Traveling Alone After Loss Hi there, I think it’s time we address this topic. Yes, I have been traveling alone for the past 2 years. After losing my husband, traveling alone became one of the… Continue reading
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Train Ride From Durango
About The Train and The Ride When my good friend says “hey, I want to ride this train up in Durango so I booked us some seats” you say yes! I had no idea what it was or what I was getting into. Easter Sunday came and off we drove from Pagosa Springs to Durango.… Continue reading
#acrosstheusa, #adventure, #antiquetrain, #bluewidow, #bridge, #cascadecanyon, #cascadewye, #cremains, #death, #durango, #durangotrain, #findingpeace, #grief, #mountains, #peace, #railcars, #river, #roadtrip, #spreading, #spreadingashes, #steamengine, #steamtrain, #thewidow, #train, #trainride, #travel, #wanderlust, #widow, #widowchronicles, #wye
About The Blue Widow Chronicles and Me
The Blue Widow Chronicles began after my husband, Eric, died suddenly in 2020. I became a widow overnight, and the writing became the place I went to make sense of a life that no longer made sense.
What began as writing through grief has grown with me.
Over the years, I’ve written my way through widowhood, PTSD and trauma, solo travel, love after loss, losing Greg to suicide, starting over, complicated relationships, and the ongoing work of figuring out who I am when the life I once knew no longer exists.
This isn’t a blog about having grief figured out. I write from wherever I actually am—sometimes healing, sometimes questioning, sometimes rebuilding, and sometimes admitting I have no idea what comes next.
Odin and Freija frequently find their way into these pages too, along with the people, places, memories, and ordinary moments that remind me life continues even when it looks nothing like the one I expected.
What You’ll Find Here
The Chronicles are personal essays about grief, trauma, identity, love, relationships, travel, rebuilding, and life after loss. Some were written from inside the experience. Others look back years later with a perspective I couldn’t have had when everything was happening.
There are more than five years of stories here. You don’t need to read them in order. Start wherever something speaks to you.
Beyond the Pages
Some stories can be told publicly. Others need a smaller room.
Beyond the Pages is the more intimate side of The Blue Widow Chronicles on Patreon—a growing private library of previously unpublished journal entries, deeper reflections on the Chronicles, member-only writing, and guided writing resources.
Membership is $5/month and includes access to the complete growing library.
Come further in —Beyond the Pages