The New Year

Welcome to the New Year. I hate social media, yet we live there, don’t we? Today I was reminded of a New Year past, from 2019—such a bittersweet memory with my husband. Nothing could touch us. We were on top of the world. Both of us were in a new position and a new house. We had a new community, and new friends with nothing but the world in front of us. Then, just as quickly as it came, it ended.

As with every new year, we envision something different. Some change that awaits us on the new horizon. I still have these same thoughts. Just as with all the New Year’s past, I too had hopes and dreams. Some of them may materialize, and others may dissipate into the wind. Expectations just boil down to what we are willing to work for and accept.

What Is The NOW?

My life is dictated. I have taken on a quest of responsibility. It is entirely by choice, yet it does dictate what I do. I am at peace with this decision, however often, I look to the future and what can be now and what can be.

As I continue into uncharted waters and things I had no idea I would encounter, I am reminded that the fog is lifting. It’s been 3 and a half years now. In this widows’ world I have been a victim of the confusion and self-doubt, and questioning everything is beginning to lift above my head. Many things are becoming more apparent to me. I dismissed so many things earlier or I did not know about what was happening around me. To that, I say, “Just wait.”…I have arrived. There will be a reckoning.

I see it. I see you. The situations I have put myself in and the people I have surrounded myself with have become abundantly clear that not all have been in my best self-interest. Rest assured, these, too, shall pass. Everyone shows their true colors eventually. The universe has left me here for a reason. I am still determining that reason, but I know I still have jobs to do before I am free.

What Will BECOME?

This year, I have not made resolutions or achievements I hope to accomplish. My thoughts remain more modest in that I want to make a difference. I want to make every person’s life I encounter better. The goal is to be a better person and ease someone’s suffering. I want to make it through the year. Sometimes, we get defeated. I’ve learned that’s okay. That is the moment we need to feel gratitude because there is someone else in this country and in this world who has less than we have. Whether it be the roof over our heads, the food in our stomachs, or knowing our loved ones are safe today, we are privileged if you identify with this.

So, I leave you with this: I don’t have a lot of hope for 2024, although it’s started well for me. Every day is a struggle. I know full well it is for some. Cherish what you have and think, pray for those that have not. We are just one paycheck away.

May you all have a blessed 2024. See you on the flip side. Thanks for reading —xxooC