Destinations
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When Healing Asks You to Begin Again
The Last Thing on My List For months, moving after loss has sat on my horizon like the last mountain I knew I’d eventually have to climb. After Greg died last October, I made a mental list of everything I needed to do just to get by. There were urgent things, and there were hard… Continue reading
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Place-Anchored Grief: Returning Home
(Note) *Place-anchored grief is when grief is tied to a place. Deferred grief is exactly what it sounds like. I wanted to give these contexts before continuing. A Healing Holiday The holidays have come and gone. I just arrived back at the apartment after two and a half weeks away. Two of those weeks were… Continue reading
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Finding Home Again: Change, Challenges, and New Beginnings
A Year in a Day Hi there, it’s me. Wow, where did the year go? I keep asking myself that question frequently these past few weeks. So much has happened in the past few months alone, and knowing where to begin is tough. This is an update and this is my story of finding home… Continue reading
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Better or just Different?–As Time Passes
While visiting the picturesque island of Sanibel, I wandered into a small toy store. What started as a casual shopping trip became a profound and unforgettable encounter. Behind the register stood a small woman whose warmth and empathy touched me deeply. As we spoke, I shared my story of trauma and loss, tears streaming down… Continue reading
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A Grief Journey Continued: Chasing Clarity
The Anniversary of the Beginning I must confess, my last post about facing the fourth anniversary of the start of my grief journey was a bit of a joke to me and not the haha kind. Although I wrote and rewrote it several times, no words seemed to convey what I was experiencing. I couldn’t… Continue reading
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The Longing for Travel: Planning Future Adventures
The Longing for Travel After I started working full-time last year, I could no longer travel as freely as I used to. I enjoyed being spontaneous and flexible with my trips, but with my scarce vacation days, I had to postpone my travel plans. This had me longing for travel, but it also inspired me… Continue reading
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Going Backward While Moving Forward
Is it Forward or Backward? I know, the title kind of doesn’t make sense but the feeling is real. Many aspects of my life seem to be moving backward while others are moving forward. I will somewhat always live in the past, that is true. But we are all forced to move forward with the… Continue reading
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Widow Brain: Coping With Brain Fog After Loss
Widow Brain and The Fog Are Real I often go back through photos to remind myself what I was doing a year or two years ago. Widow brain and brain fog are a real thing. Settling down to one place for a while has me reminiscing more than I ever have since Eric left. Managing… Continue reading
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Honoring My Late Husband in a Place He Loved
Leaving More of Myself I’ve been staring at a blank screen for a couple of hours now. I’m not sure why I’m having such a hard time starting this article. My late husband’s ashes rest in many places I’ve visited in the two and half years since he left. I expected the ceremonial process and… Continue reading
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Meet Me In St. Louis
A Stop In St. Louis I’ve driven through St. Louis multiple times. I have even seen the arch up close and personal in my early twenties. So when someone very special to me asked “Meet me in St. Louis?” I couldn’t say no. I was able to stop overnight on my way out west. While… Continue reading
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The Little Island. Remembering Sanibel
How I Discovered the Little Island My first job in high school was with the Louisville Auto Club in downtown Louisville, Kentucky. There I learned my way around maps. My job was to provide directions to members taking trips. One of the most requested destinations was Sanibel Island in SW Florida. Since then, this little… Continue reading
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The Midwest Beach, Indiana Dunes
Loving the Beach Hi all. I appreciate every single one of you following my journey. Now I want to share a place that’s quickly becoming a favorite getaway for me. I’ve had the good fortune on multiple occasions now, to visit the Indiana Dunes. This area in North West Indiana boasts a State Park and… Continue reading
About The Blue Widow Chronicles and Me
The Blue Widow Chronicles began after my husband, Eric, died suddenly in 2020. I became a widow overnight, and the writing became the place I went to make sense of a life that no longer made sense.
What began as writing through grief has grown with me.
Over the years, I’ve written my way through widowhood, PTSD and trauma, solo travel, love after loss, losing Greg to suicide, starting over, complicated relationships, and the ongoing work of figuring out who I am when the life I once knew no longer exists.
This isn’t a blog about having grief figured out. I write from wherever I actually am—sometimes healing, sometimes questioning, sometimes rebuilding, and sometimes admitting I have no idea what comes next.
Odin and Freija frequently find their way into these pages too, along with the people, places, memories, and ordinary moments that remind me life continues even when it looks nothing like the one I expected.
What You’ll Find Here
The Chronicles are personal essays about grief, trauma, identity, love, relationships, travel, rebuilding, and life after loss. Some were written from inside the experience. Others look back years later with a perspective I couldn’t have had when everything was happening.
There are more than five years of stories here. You don’t need to read them in order. Start wherever something speaks to you.
Beyond the Pages
Some stories can be told publicly. Others need a smaller room.
Beyond the Pages is the more intimate side of The Blue Widow Chronicles on Patreon—a growing private library of previously unpublished journal entries, deeper reflections on the Chronicles, member-only writing, and guided writing resources.
Membership is $5/month and includes access to the complete growing library.
Come further in —Beyond the Pages