What Are Grief and Trauma?
A quick Google search and I found definitions for grief and trauma. Grief is a “deep sorrow caused when something or someone you love has been taken away.” Trauma is an “emotional response to a distressing experience.” So on first glance one would think the two are somewhat related. I tend to disagree. I’ve witnessed trauma from friends that did not experience grief. I have also seen grief without trauma.
PTSD and Distress
It wasn’t until I was coping with uncontrollable physical and mental situations that I was able to distinguish the two. So I did what anyone would do and I went to the doctor. Usually when I would hear of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), I would think of service people or victims of natural disasters. I was really surprised when I was diagnosed with PTSD and complicated grief. Neither of which I understood at the time. Then throw in generalized anxiety disorder to this mess for a distressing, no end in sight, anguish.
My PTSD caused me to become stuck. Stuck in only what I can describe as an obsessive thought process. My image kept playing over in my mind on repeat. I was helpless to stop it, to process it, to understand it. This compounded my anxiety which crippled me in the beginning. I knew I needed professional help but who and what was beyond my comprehension. Then one day, while I was at the med spa of all places, my nurse practitioner was working on me and mentioned she knew of a licensed therapist practicing EMDR therapy.
EMDR for Trauma
EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. Yeah, that’s a mouthful. But basically what this therapy does, is it uses rapid eye movements similar to REM sleep patterns to help the brain reprocess memories and work through them. EMDR uses both sides of the brain. Has it helped? Well, yes and no. Reprocessing is not immediate. It takes time to work through. Afterwards though, my brain is no longer stuck. The once devastating memory holds little power over me. After EMDR therapy is when I was able to start traveling. So that was good, but my body and mind remain damaged. Damaged by the trauma I endured during the event which caused this image in the first place.
My Experience and My Discovery
What I didn’t understand at first is that grief and trauma are completely different things. Each requires a level of processing and therapy that don’t necessarily go together. As often the case with medicine these days, I have become my own advocate. My experience with each has opened my eyes. I carry each with me daily. How I deal with each is different. Understanding this is half the battle for me. Maybe one day I’ll be able to leave one or both behind but I doubt it. I do have hope that one day I will be able to cope with them better today than I did yesterday.
Have you had EMDR or are curious about it? Let’s talk!
Thanks for reading! xxooC
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