Uncategorized
-
Odin Update Vol. I – May 2023
Odin Update- Settling In Well what can I say, I wanted to give an Odin update because he’s settling in. Our new home and routine seems to suit him. We’ve been in Chicago for seven months now. Our first Illinois winter together is finally over. (Although this was not my first winter in Illinois, Odin Continue reading
-
When There is Just More
Just More Unexpected Trauma It happened again today. Another flashback, just more trauma. Reliving the “thing” I don’t want to think about, let alone discuss. But there it was. I think this whole experience is all part of reconnecting with the world. After a traumatizing event, it’s hard to be part of something. Because being Continue reading
-
The Things I’ve Said as A Widow
The Things I’ve Said that Still Surprise Me I’m sitting here watching a thunderstorm roll in. One of the subtle things I love most in this world. The smell of rain. The calm before the storm. Quick flashes of lightening and a glimpse of what’s coming. We never really know what’s coming though. Every moment, Continue reading
-
What NOT to Expect in Mourning
From What to Expect to What NOT I realized after I published Part 1 of “What to expect when you ARE in mourning“, I left a few things out. Although I did touch on some physical expectations, I completely missed the massive emotional and mental aspect. So here is Part II. I’m calling this one Continue reading
-
What to Expect when you ARE in Mourning
That’s right, when you are in MOURNING If you haven’t lost someone significant, then this article isn’t for you. If you have, then you may be familiar with what I’m about to talk about. It’s all of the things that are not discussed in daily life, but exist in the world of someone mourning. Let’s Continue reading
-
A Moment with Another Widow
Not like the Others I had a moment today. Something insanely karmic happened. I knew it when I was experiencing the moment that it was something uniquely special and there was a lesson here for me. Here in this moment. In this person I had just met and was talking with. I’ve had these random, Continue reading
-
Cat Tales or is it Tails?
Felines on my Mind It’s snowing here in my little slice of Chicago. I woke up this morning with a heavy heart. My last dream was about Lucy. I’ve been playing with the idea of getting another cat for a while but somehow I can’t commit. I guess I feel like it’s just not the Continue reading
-
Speed Bump Days
The Intense Anxiety Another mile stone came and went this week. Monday would have been my 25th wedding anniversary. I knew this day would come. Not the speed bump day, but the day when I couldn’t run from the feelings. Until now, before this move to Chicago, I would just go wherever I want to Continue reading
-
Role Models in A Widow’s Perpective
Definition of Role Models I wanted to share with you my writing prompt today in the most amazing book my daughter gave me for Christmas. It was “who are my role models and what qualities do they have?” I didn’t have to think long before I realized my daughter is my biggest role model and Continue reading
-
My Food Journey
Journey Setbacks Suck I’ve suffered some setbacks lately. Both mentally and physically. I found out last year through a DNA sensitivity test, that I am super sentsitive to certain foods. I kind of already knew it but, this completely confirmed it. The majority of people have food sensitivities and don’t even know it. I was Continue reading
-
All The Matters
What Really Matters Oh Hi!! WOW! The last few months have been CRAZY!! I try to keep up with everyone on social media. All of it matters. But let’s be honest, most of what is posted mixed with what is filtered is irrelevant. I am still in the process of reengaging. By reacting to a Continue reading
-
New Year’s it’s still ME
New Year’s Reflection on the Old Me I’ll say it again, somehow the new year’s brings up all kinds of feelings. New year’s has that way of simultaneously inspiring reflection of the past while planning for the future. And while this is usually a good thing, it can also be traumatizing to some. First a Continue reading
About Me and My Grief Journey
My grief journey began in the Summer of 2020. I became a widow overnight. Without warning, my entire life was turned upside down, broken into pieces I didn’t know how to put back together. Writing became my anchor—my way to breathe, process, and heal, even in small, fractured moments.
After losing Eric, I was diagnosed with PTSD, complicated grief, and an anxiety disorder. For a long time, I was paralyzed by my own emotions. I traveled across the U.S. for over two years, mostly alone, learning how to carry myself through the aftermath of sudden loss.
Along the way, I found love again. Greg became an important part of my life, bringing companionship, laughter, and even new challenges. Losing him to suicide has been another unimaginable heartbreak that shapes much of what I write here. Through it all, my emotional support animals —Odin (dog) and Freija (cat)— keep me grounded and remind me there is still love, life, and care to give.
I moved and now reside in Chicago, Illinois. This city, this home, is my space to rebuild, to grieve, and to explore who I am beyond loss.
What you will find here
This blog started as a place to house my writing. Over time, it’s become much more. Here, I reflect on grief, healing, and the messy, beautiful, often difficult journey of life after sudden loss. I write about my day-to-day experiences, the struggles and triumphs with my diagnoses, and anything else that captures my heart and attention.
My journey on podcasts
Many of my articles are available in podcast form on Spotify and Amazon Music. I welcome your comments—I love feedback. Let’s share this journey together, and maybe find adventure along the way.