Blue Widow Chronicles

From loss to living. This is my story.


Four Wheeling In Colorado

Labor Day in Colorado

I want to start off by saying I’ve never been four wheeling in the mountains. I don’t have any experience with four wheeling in general. It’s just not something I do however, who am I to say no to adventure? This day was just extra to an already incredible trip as I’m about to tell you.

I had the good fortune to be able to accompany a wonderful group to Colorado over Labor Day last year. This was not my first time to the Rockies. Without a doubt it was a memorable trip. Again, like so many other adventures, I had no idea what I was in for. The mountains are so beautiful but so much of them are inaccessible without a four wheel drive. It was strictly sight seeing.

Road Conditions

In my opinion, Colorado uses the word “road” loosely. I was kind of shocked what qualified as a road but I had no expectations. Driving was slow, about 3-5 miles per hour in some spots. Four wheeling up the mountains is definitely a thing and not just for jeeps. I saw other four wheel vehicles traversing the terrain which was very bumpy. To the point I had to hold on, tightly. I hit my head and my elbow at separate times. I’m laughing at describing it now. The whole experience was great but I should have known. I mean, looking at a mountain of that size, how else does one get up it?

Four Wheeling Mt. Antero

I can’t tell you the path we took. I do know the trip started up Mt. Antero. We came close to the summit, and then took another road over to Mt. Whitey. According to Dangerous Roads website Mt. Antero is one of the highest, unpaved roads in Colorado and the USA.

More tidbits of information about Mt. Antero can be found here on the Official USDA Website. I was surprised to learn it has the largest gem mines in the lower 48 and it’s everyone’s responsibility when on the mountain to know if you are on a staked claim. The signs are everywhere but aren’t always clear.

The views are just so breath taking once past the tree line. To stand up in the clouds at that altitude is life changing.

Four Wheeling Over To Mt. Whitey

The treachery of these trails for beginners can not be overly stressed enough. These trips are not for the faint of heart nor are they for anyone scared of heights but they are exciting! We drove very close to the summit of Mt. Whitey. So close I hiked to the summit. Here are a few photos.

I Thought I Saw A Lake

After Mt. Whitey, I spotted a lake amongst trees. It was off in the distance, in the valley. What looks small from a distance actually can be really big. The valley was a full on forest. The road down was long and bumpy. The trees hid the road so once we got into the forest we weren’t really sure where we were going. I didn’t make it to the lake. Ok, we got lost and the road became more than we were willing to risk. The road didn’t really look sketchy but it was and chancing it was too great. No phone reception would have made getting stuck or blowing a tire difficult to say the least.

The road and trip back was just as exciting. We met some new friends along the way. The sky was beautiful. The day seemed to last forever. The whole four wheeling trip took about 6 hours. It was well worth the time and bumps and bruises.

I could not keep my phone still!

Takaways

Besides being an amazingly memorable trip, yes I would absolutely do it again. I would also highly recommend it. List of things to bring would include plenty of water. Be prepared to get out and hike if you want to see more awesome views. Above the tree line was windy so dress accordingly. Be sure to bring snacks as the day can be long. Don’t forget your sunglasses. Oh, and one of the most important things would be a map. The roads are clearly marked but if you have no idea where you are, that could be a problem.

Take care and I hope you enjoyed reading about my four wheeling adventure up the Colorado mountains.

panorama from a resting point on mt. whitey

Tell Me Something Good

About Me and My Grief Journey

My grief journey began in the Summer of 2020. I became a widow overnight. Without warning, my entire life was turned upside down, broken into pieces I didn’t know how to put back together. Writing became my anchor—my way to breathe, process, and heal, even in small, fractured moments.

After losing Eric, I was diagnosed with PTSD, complicated grief, and an anxiety disorder. For a long time, I was paralyzed by my own emotions. I traveled across the U.S. for over two years, mostly alone, learning how to carry myself through the aftermath of sudden loss.

Along the way, I found love again. Greg became an important part of my life, bringing companionship, laughter, and even new challenges. Losing him to suicide has been another unimaginable heartbreak that shapes much of what I write here. Through it all, my emotional support animals —Odin (dog) and Freija (cat)— keep me grounded and remind me there is still love, life, and care to give.

I moved and now reside in Chicago, Illinois. This city, this home, is my space to rebuild, to grieve, and to explore who I am beyond loss.

What you will find here

This blog started as a place to house my writing. Over time, it’s become much more. Here, I reflect on grief, healing, and the messy, beautiful, often difficult journey of life after sudden loss. I write about my day-to-day experiences, the struggles and triumphs with my diagnoses, and anything else that captures my heart and attention.

My journey on podcasts

Many of my articles are available in podcast form on Spotify and Amazon Music. I welcome your comments—I love feedback. Let’s share this journey together, and maybe find adventure along the way.

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