Blue Widow Chronicles

From loss to living. This is my story.


Goodbye, Malice: Coping with the Loss of a Beloved Dog

malice in her life jacket on a boat

A Pet is a Companion

Coping with the loss of a dog or beloved pet is never easy. Losing Malice was a very painful experience. One that many pet owners have had to face. The bond we share with our furry friends is truly unique, and losing them leaves an immense void in our hearts.

In 2009, Malice was born and three years later she came to live with us. Our last Chow had passed away about five years before that. It had taken my late husband all this time to get over the loss and decide that he was ready to embark on another furry adventure.

Our dogs are not just pets. They become cherished family members. When they leave us, the emotional impact can be overwhelming. It is important to acknowledge and understand the stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Recognizing these stages can help us make sense of our emotions and begin the healing process.

The Time in Between

When we brought Malice home, as with any new friendship, it took time for everyone to become trusting of one another. But it didn’t take long before she was playing with her new feline buddies. This time in between dogs allowed Eric and our family time to cope and heal.

Allowing yourself to grieve is an essential part of healing. Give yourself permission to feel the pain and express your emotions in a healthy way. Whether it’s talking to friends and family who understand or joining support groups or online communities for pet loss, seeking support is crucial. Surrounding ourselves with people who empathize with our pain can provide immense comfort and solace.

Ways to Honor and Keep the Memory Alive

One of the ways in coping with the loss of a beloved dog is to honor your dog’s memory. This can provide a sense of closure. Consider organizing a memorial or tribute for your dog, where you can gather with loved ones to celebrate their life and reminisce about the happy times you shared. Creating a memory book or scrapbook filled with pictures, stories, and mementos can be a therapeutic way to remember your beloved dog and keep their memory alive.

I’ve collected photos and put them in a special folder on my desktop. It really brings a smile to my face to see pictures of her young and with other family members. I will always have a special place in my heart for this little soul. She brought my family so much joy during her time here.

Paying it forward can also be a beautiful way to honor your dog’s memory. Volunteer at local animal shelters or rescue organizations to help dogs in need. By sharing your love and compassion with other animals, you are not only giving back but also finding purpose and healing in the process. If possible, consider donating in memory of your lost dog to support animal welfare causes. This act of kindness can create a legacy for your beloved pet and help other dogs in need.

Take ALL the Time Needed

Just like losing Lucy last year, healing takes time. Coping with the loss of a beloved pet is a process that cannot be rushed. Permitting yourself to heal at your own pace is important with any loss. I know some days will be harder than others, and that’s okay. I’m allowing myself to experience the grief, but I’m also trying to find moments of joy and gratitude amidst the pain.

Odin has been a huge comfort during this time. I had another family member lose her dog earlier this year. She adopted right away. Adopting a new dog can bring immense joy and love back into your life. It doesn’t mean you are replacing your lost dog. But rather opening your heart to a new furry friend who can provide companionship and comfort.

Losing a dog or any pet is an incredibly heartbreaking experience. But it is possible to find solace and healing. Take the time to grieve, seek support, and honor your dog’s memory. Remember, healing is a personal journey, and it will happen at its own pace. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself to experience the full range of emotions. When the time is right, consider opening your heart to a new dog and pay it forward to help other animals. Although your dog may be physically gone, their spirit will always be with you. I know Malice and Lucy are still with me.

Thanks for reading. –xxooC

Tell Me Something Good

About Me and My Grief Journey

My grief journey began in the Summer of 2020. I became a widow overnight. Without warning, my entire life was turned upside down, broken into pieces I didn’t know how to put back together. Writing became my anchor—my way to breathe, process, and heal, even in small, fractured moments.

After losing Eric, I was diagnosed with PTSD, complicated grief, and an anxiety disorder. For a long time, I was paralyzed by my own emotions. I traveled across the U.S. for over two years, mostly alone, learning how to carry myself through the aftermath of sudden loss.

Along the way, I found love again. Greg became an important part of my life, bringing companionship, laughter, and even new challenges. Losing him to suicide has been another unimaginable heartbreak that shapes much of what I write here. Through it all, my emotional support animals —Odin (dog) and Freija (cat)— keep me grounded and remind me there is still love, life, and care to give.

I moved and now reside in Chicago, Illinois. This city, this home, is my space to rebuild, to grieve, and to explore who I am beyond loss.

What you will find here

This blog started as a place to house my writing. Over time, it’s become much more. Here, I reflect on grief, healing, and the messy, beautiful, often difficult journey of life after sudden loss. I write about my day-to-day experiences, the struggles and triumphs with my diagnoses, and anything else that captures my heart and attention.

My journey on podcasts

Many of my articles are available in podcast form on Spotify and Amazon Music. I welcome your comments—I love feedback. Let’s share this journey together, and maybe find adventure along the way.

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