What Really Matters
Oh Hi!! WOW! The last few months have been CRAZY!! I try to keep up with everyone on social media. All of it matters. But let’s be honest, most of what is posted mixed with what is filtered is irrelevant. I am still in the process of reengaging. By reacting to a social media post takes a moment of time and energy. I have decided as I give my time in exchange for money, I don’t want to exert excess energy on things which really do not matter. Regarding all the matters, so many things really do not matter.
So what exactly DOES matter? I ask myself this all the time. Well, my loved ones matter. My “inner circle” so to speak. I suck at engaging anymore. My energy level just hasn’t returned. I’m not sure it ever will. I only have so much energy in one day for so much. Then I am done. That’s it. I’m physically and emotionally DONE.
I often wonder if I am the only one feeling this way or this is just the result of the trauma I’ve been through. Either way, expending energy where I feel is unecessary is daunting. So what to do?
When Saying No is OK
For now, just becoming aware of the difference. Understand it’s okay to say no to some things. It’s perfectly okay to just say I can’t do this now. Whether it be laundry, chores, obligations, life. Of course there are going to be things. Things I MUST do. Those things matter, and have to be factored in. Then, if there isn’t anything of me left, I am getting better saying it’s time to stop. Learning to recognize the point I need to stop is still challenging. Slowly I am learning what truly matters.
These are reflections I have learned through my new meditations. Daily I take a few minutes and ponder the good stuff. It’s been very satifying. Not only am I more grateful, but my meditations have also helped me see what exactly is important. What I want to focus more on in my life. What I don’t want in my life and/or things to cut out. And finally, the things I want more of and to do more of.
Speaking of gratitude, my daughter got this book for me for Christmas. (This is NOT a paid advertisement!!) I’ve started and with the first couple of days it’s really opened up my thoughts and inspirations. Not only is it positive but it leaves me with things to think about. Self discovery is never a bad thing.
Update On The Move
Moving has been an experience in itself. I kind of knew it would be but I had no idea living in a city of this size was such a different way of life. As I mentioned before, I live in the North/Northwest neighborhood of Logan Square. I am about six miles from the lake. Which by the way, I have not visited as a resident yet. Anyway, before moving here I always thought I was somewhat a cultured city girl. Boy was I wrong! I have never felt more country than I now do at times and the strange thing is, I’m okay with it. I am adapting and growing.
The culture in Chicago is amazing. This city is so diverse. I can go a few blocks and be in a completely different neighborhood with a completely different ethnicity and culture. That’s what makes this city so unique. One thing in particular I have noticed is the people are really nice. Nicer than I expected. Of course no one says “hi” on the streets or waves from their cars but I do witness nice acts almost every day. Don’t get me wrong, the news is riddled with the bad stuff. In a city of over 2.7 million residents there’s bound to be crime and bad people. That’s everywhere.
Final Thoughts and Gratitude
For now I am content. Trauma and anxiety are still daily challenges. That hasn’t changed. The one thing I can say though is I am in a better place than I was two years ago and I am grateful for that. Tell me one thing you are grateful for.
Thanks for reading. Love you all xxooC
Tell Me Something Good