Blue Widow Chronicles

From loss to living. This is my story.


New Tattoos And More Adventure

A different direction

I got new tattoos. It’s a subject I haven’t talked about much. The whole process of thinking and doing was all very emotional because as we all know, my old artist (my husband Eric) is no longer with us. This left me with a lot of unfinished work. After owning a tattoo studio for 13 years, I have a wonderful network of support which also includes some very talented tattooers. While out west last year, I found myself back in familiar territory in the Pacific Northwest. This afforded me an opportunity to finish some work on my arm and what will eventually be a coverup on my back. This wasn’t the only work I’ve had done recently, but I’ll talk about that in another upcoming post.

As I mentioned, I traveled up to Beaverton, Oregon which is just outside of Portland. Back in 2009, Eric did an extended guest spot at a shop. So naturally I stopped into Tattoo 42 to see what’s new. I was beyond surprised and thrilled when founder and partner Rich Shires offered to work on my left arm. I had earlier plans to cover up the top of my arm with a black-out piece like my leg, but Rich decided I needed something more special.

New tattoos and fresh perspective

The entirety of my arm tattoo from wrist to shoulder evolved over about 12 days. First came the mandala which still has more time left before we call it finished. Then the hexagram pattern followed by the pattern inside that.

In the next few sessions Rich hard lined all of my existing tattoos. They weren’t up until this point and that little difference made Eric’s work really pop. We added my grandson’s names next to my roman numeral 1994 for my daughter’s birth year.

Next was a cover up of a previous tattoo Rich did for me in 2011 on the inside of my wrist. That tattoo also was covered with a mandala for continuity. Finally, we chose a cube design as a background to tie it all together. Oh, and the bar design inside the hex covered a negative space ohm, so Rich included a new one that’s even better! I still have the inner part of my upper arm left for whatever tattoo ideas we come up with next.

Rich was super patient and guided me in a direction I was comfortable with. Covering some of Eric’s work was hard but it was what I had planned before so I made peace with it.

Healing and aftercare plug

For healing Rich has developed this amazing product Tattoo Wrap. It’s a hydrocolloidal bandage that I can wear under any clothing. I can not say enough great things about it and yes, I’m shamelessly plugging it because we used it on every tattoo, after every session except one and the difference was notable. Tattoo Wrap protects, aids in healing, and can get wet. My tattoos healed quicker and better than anything else I’ve ever tried. I know what you’re thinking…”but I have my way and that works for me.” Yes yes, I did too but really I ask you, doesn’t not having to worry about bumping, scraping, and rubbing a new tattoo sound amazing? Well it is and that’s the last I’m going to say. Just try it. You won’t be sorry. Then tell your friends.

Takeaway thoughts on my new tattoos

Total hours I think I counted more than 25 and I can’t remember exactly how many days were tattoo days. My leg coverup was three consecutive days of tattooing. My arm was more. I have a new pain threshold. Did it hurt? Yes, of course but surprisingly not as bad as I expected had you told me this was what we were going to do. End result is that I love it so much. The integrity of Eric’s tattoo work is preserved and enhanced.

I can’t wait to go back and finish. What do you think I should put on the inside of my upper arm?

Questions? Comments? Please leave them below. Thanks for reading! xxooC

Update -Arm Finished (Yay!)

As of this writing, I journeyed once more to Beaverton, Oregon. There we finished my arm with a piece on the inside upper portion. For this space I chose a design near and dear to my heart. The tattoo contains a Moon for me (Cancer), and a sun for my sister (Leo), and a guiding star for us at the top. Rich drew this right on my arm. A custom piece just for that spot. I love it and now it’s finished.

Granted, I still need some touch ups. Some shading was added to the cover up hex pattern. Also there were touch ups to some of the linework and highlights. Tell me what you think! xxoo-C

(Updated July 23, 2022)

One response to “New Tattoos And More Adventure”

  1. I’m always gonna go with a beneficent dragon. Not for me, of course: My pain threshold is about zero, unless I get a baby out of it. I love your tattoos!

Tell Me Something Good

About Me and My Grief Journey

My grief journey began in the Summer of 2020. I became a widow overnight. Without warning, my entire life was turned upside down, broken into pieces I didn’t know how to put back together. Writing became my anchor—my way to breathe, process, and heal, even in small, fractured moments.

After losing Eric, I was diagnosed with PTSD, complicated grief, and an anxiety disorder. For a long time, I was paralyzed by my own emotions. I traveled across the U.S. for over two years, mostly alone, learning how to carry myself through the aftermath of sudden loss.

Along the way, I found love again. Greg became an important part of my life, bringing companionship, laughter, and even new challenges. Losing him to suicide has been another unimaginable heartbreak that shapes much of what I write here. Through it all, my emotional support animals —Odin (dog) and Freija (cat)— keep me grounded and remind me there is still love, life, and care to give.

I moved and now reside in Chicago, Illinois. This city, this home, is my space to rebuild, to grieve, and to explore who I am beyond loss.

What you will find here

This blog started as a place to house my writing. Over time, it’s become much more. Here, I reflect on grief, healing, and the messy, beautiful, often difficult journey of life after sudden loss. I write about my day-to-day experiences, the struggles and triumphs with my diagnoses, and anything else that captures my heart and attention.

My journey on podcasts

Many of my articles are available in podcast form on Spotify and Amazon Music. I welcome your comments—I love feedback. Let’s share this journey together, and maybe find adventure along the way.

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