Blue Widow Chronicles

From loss to living. This is my story.


Lucy is Back

lucy is back to her old self

Lucy is Back To Feeling Better

A new Lucy Update! Lucy is back to her old self. We’ve been back in Kentucky exactly 10 days. The first days were sketchy at first yes. I try to keep a routine but it isn’t always easy. She’s been back into a solid routine and now we are seeing the results. All meds she takes are given orally now. She’s still a picky eater. I’m not quite sure what changed with her, but she’s more than happy to take meds with a bit of tuna fish. There once was a time where oral meds slipped into food were a hard no.

Her spirits are good. She wakes me up around 7:15 am. on time, every morning. Waiting for her first meal of tuna.

Meds and Other Stuff

Lucy loves a good chin scratch as you can see from the photo. Lucy’s back to demanding attention every morning. In a previous Lucy update, I believe I mention we are trying to ween her off the alprazolam but she is much better tempered on it. It also stimulates appetite which I think I’ve mentioned before. I now add the alprazolam into the cocktail in the morning tuna fish.

I think from all of the attention that she has actually gained some weight. Lucy has not been on a scale since the vet came, so we aren’t sure what her weight is yet. I will update you when we know more. She definitely looks plumper, if that’s a thing then yeah, she looks healthier all around. I am offering food constantly and she is more than happy to eat it. She is on the diet we started before we left.

Her day now consists of a solid routine. She has become very vocal and social again. She wakes me up between 7 am and 7:30 am for her first meal like an alarm clock.

Here’s a little video of bath time today. Enjoy! Thanks for reading.

Tell Me Something Good

About Me and My Grief Journey

My grief journey began in the Summer of 2020. I became a widow overnight. Without warning, my entire life was turned upside down, broken into pieces I didn’t know how to put back together. Writing became my anchor—my way to breathe, process, and heal, even in small, fractured moments.

After losing Eric, I was diagnosed with PTSD, complicated grief, and an anxiety disorder. For a long time, I was paralyzed by my own emotions. I traveled across the U.S. for over two years, mostly alone, learning how to carry myself through the aftermath of sudden loss.

Along the way, I found love again. Greg became an important part of my life, bringing companionship, laughter, and even new challenges. Losing him to suicide has been another unimaginable heartbreak that shapes much of what I write here. Through it all, my emotional support animals —Odin (dog) and Freija (cat)— keep me grounded and remind me there is still love, life, and care to give.

I moved and now reside in Chicago, Illinois. This city, this home, is my space to rebuild, to grieve, and to explore who I am beyond loss.

What you will find here

This blog started as a place to house my writing. Over time, it’s become much more. Here, I reflect on grief, healing, and the messy, beautiful, often difficult journey of life after sudden loss. I write about my day-to-day experiences, the struggles and triumphs with my diagnoses, and anything else that captures my heart and attention.

My journey on podcasts

Many of my articles are available in podcast form on Spotify and Amazon Music. I welcome your comments—I love feedback. Let’s share this journey together, and maybe find adventure along the way.

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