peace
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Place-Anchored Grief: Returning Home
(Note) *Place-anchored grief is when grief is tied to a place. Deferred grief is exactly what it sounds like. I wanted to give these contexts before continuing. A Healing Holiday The holidays have come and gone. I just arrived back at the apartment after two and a half weeks away. Two of those weeks were Continue reading
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Alone But Not Abandoned
Releasing Control I worked a white magic spell a few days ago. Nothing dramatic. No expectation that it would fix anything. Just an intention to release what I can not control and find peace in that knowing. I didn’t expect much to come from it, especially this soon. But yesterday and today have been the Continue reading
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When Home Isn’t a Place Anymore
This morning, I walked through my daughter’s house and caught glimpses of my late husband Eric in photos. Pictures of him, frozen in time. It’s strange how someone who was once my entire world can now feel so far away, like he belongs to another version of me I can barely access. Another lifetime. Another Continue reading
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The Hole That Was You
Journal Entry I hate that you gave up on life. It hurts so badly, all the time. There are these tiny moments — little flickers — where I forget that you’re really gone. Gone gone. And in those brief moments, I feel almost whole again, like the world hasn’t shattered and left me standing in Continue reading
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The Part That Stayed
Journal Entry I have so much anger and rage. I hate you for making me go through this again. All you had to do was come home or call me to pick you up. That was it. What was so bad that you had to leave me like this? I love you, and now I Continue reading
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Sedona Was Waiting
I woke up with an unusual heaviness this morning, not really understanding why. Then I looked at the calendar and remembered — this week was supposed to be our vacation. We were just about to ask for time off when he left. On his phone, I found searches for “day trips in and around Sedona.” Continue reading
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Loving After Loss: Learning to Carry Love Forward
Grief is strange. It doesn’t fade on a schedule, and it doesn’t just hurt — sometimes it comforts. My family just celebrated our youngest grandson’s birthday this past weekend. For me, it’s also a time marker—five years of joy with little E and five years without our big E. When he died, I didn’t only Continue reading
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Twenty-one Days: Cherishing Moments and Memories
21 DAY REWIND June 14th, 2020 was a Sunday. I will be stuck in this moment for the rest of my life whether I want to or not. Strange how trauma does that to the mind. As this anniversary is rapidly approaching, so goes my train of thought into a rewind. My brain seems to Continue reading
About Me and My Grief Journey
My grief journey began in the Summer of 2020. I became a widow overnight. Without warning, my entire life was turned upside down, broken into pieces I didn’t know how to put back together. Writing became my anchor—my way to breathe, process, and heal, even in small, fractured moments.
After losing Eric, I was diagnosed with PTSD, complicated grief, and an anxiety disorder. For a long time, I was paralyzed by my own emotions. I traveled across the U.S. for over two years, mostly alone, learning how to carry myself through the aftermath of sudden loss.
Along the way, I found love again. Greg became an important part of my life, bringing companionship, laughter, and even new challenges. Losing him to suicide has been another unimaginable heartbreak that shapes much of what I write here. Through it all, my emotional support animals —Odin (dog) and Freija (cat)— keep me grounded and remind me there is still love, life, and care to give.
I moved and now reside in Chicago, Illinois. This city, this home, is my space to rebuild, to grieve, and to explore who I am beyond loss.
What you will find here
This blog started as a place to house my writing. Over time, it’s become much more. Here, I reflect on grief, healing, and the messy, beautiful, often difficult journey of life after sudden loss. I write about my day-to-day experiences, the struggles and triumphs with my diagnoses, and anything else that captures my heart and attention.
My journey on podcasts
Many of my articles are available in podcast form on Spotify and Amazon Music. I welcome your comments—I love feedback. Let’s share this journey together, and maybe find adventure along the way.