Valentine’s Day can stir a mix of emotions, particularly for widows. This day of love and companionship can bring about memories of a past life with a loved one. This can sometimes be difficult when we are alone or grieving. However, it also serves as an opportunity for self-care and a reflection of personal strength. Embracing this day with grace and independence can be a powerful testament to the journey of acknowledging past love by celebrating personal growth and newfound love as well. Let’s dig deeper on how to do this.
Cherish Memories
Valentine’s Day can be a time to reflect on memories shared with your late partner. Mine are particularly difficult to navigate because the day before was our anniversary. This makes for two complicated days. Incidentally, next week would have been our 27th anniversary, and now it’s my fifth one without him. I can’t help but count the years now. Somehow it serves as a memoriam and I still do without thinking about it.
As I have some experience with this holiday now, my advice to any widow is to consider setting up a small tribute at home. A spot adorned with a favorite photograph, a candle, or a special memento that brings comfort and warmth. This space can serve as a gentle reminder of the love that was. A peaceful place to honor the memories that continue to bring joy and solace.
Self-Care and Mindfulness
Midst the emotional backdrop of Valentine’s Day, prioritizing self-care is essential. I’ve talked about this a lot. I’m a huge advocate as this is my go-to when I need a time-out to process and get through difficult times. So, second, I recommend you treat yourself to a spa day at home: indulge in a long, relaxing shower or bath, or try out a new face mask. I just discovered shower melts, and I highly recommend them. Or, you can simply light a fragrant candle to turn your bathroom into a spa. Oh, and my favorite face masks are Mara’s Volcanic Clay Sea Mask and Que Bella Exfoliating Strawberry. If you don’t have a favorite, they are relatively inexpensive and you can find them just about everywhere now. Simple yet inexpensive treats.
Pampering can also extend to immersing yourself in activities such as your favorite book or music. It can also be spending the day dedicated to a hobby that revitalizes your spirit. These activities can bring mindfulness and serve to ground you in the present. This focus on self-love is a vital element in embracing the present with grace and independence.
Connect with Loved Ones
In the most difficult of times, I choose to be solitary. This doesn’t work for everyone, however. If company and companionship is what you need, reach out to family and friends. You know you’re people. Gather one or all and draw strength from their love, company and compassion. They can be a great source of comfort.
Whether it’s a casual get-together or a meaningful conversation, connection plays a crucial role in navigating this day gracefully. If circumstances allow, consider hosting a small gathering. Or, alternatively, set up a virtual meeting to share stories and laughter with those who hold significance in your life. Never underestimate the power of laughter. There’s much research on laughter as healing.
Give Back
Another suggestion is engaging in acts of kindness and generosity, which can be incredibly healing. When I first became a widow, my family doctor held my hand and told me to give back. “Only then can the healing begin.” he said, and I’ve never forgotten his words. Volunteering for a cause you are passionate about or participating in community activities not only helps others but also fosters a feeling of accomplishment and fulfillment.
The joy of giving back can create a positive shift in perspective and instill a deeper sense of purpose. If this doesn’t feel comfortable, I suggest spending some time at the local animal shelters. Usually, it just takes a phone call or an email to go in and spend some time with the animals. Petting them can comfort you both. However you choose to give back will help foster a sense of gratefulness.
Explore New Traditions
Finally, Starting new traditions can breathe fresh life into Valentine’s Day. Consider exploring aspects of life that bring joy. Whether that’s traveling to an inspiring location, trying out new cuisine, or simply embarking on a creative project. Over the past five years, I’ve found that new experiences can lead to newfound happiness and fulfillment. Each marking the day with joy and uplifting emotions. As you see, I’m still working on my own grace and independence.
This year, I will be working. Afterward, I plan on spending the evening with my love. We’ve started new traditions ourselves over the past couple of years. Although this year, we haven’t made solid plans yet, I’m definitely looking forward to it—something I haven’t felt in a while about this particular holiday.
Conclusion
As a widow, Valentine’s Day is more than a reminder of love once lived; it’s an opportunity for self-love and the cultivation of new, fulfilling moments. I challenge you to embrace this day with an open heart and a curious mind, thus, transform it into a celebration of your resilience and continue to enrich the life you continue to lead.
Cherish the past, live in the present, and look forward to creating a future filled with grace and independence.
Happy Valentine’s Day, I love you all. Thanks for reading. –xxooC
My Valentines:
