Blue Widow Chronicles

From loss to living. This is my story.


Morning Rituals

Writing prompt: What are your morning rituals? What does the first hour of your day look like?

When asked this question, I had to think about it for a while. My morning rituals have evolved over the years. Mostly because of the house or space I am inhabiting. I spend my first few minutes just observing the day. I look outside and check the weather, then make my way to the bathroom for the necessities. Next comes the kitchen for my morning cup of whatever. Today it is coffee, sometimes it could be tea. Next, I take care of the resident cats and dogs. I used to say it was a good day when I didn’t have to wake up and clean up piss, shit, or vomit, but those days are less frequent now.

Next I’m on to sit somewhere and check email and social media, making sure the world isn’t falling apart somewhere around me. Then I plan my day. I used to be a lot more interesting. In that mix was exercise for quite a few years. That completely fell away when my husband died. Now, my energy level just lets me get through the day.

When I worked full-time, I would turn on the news to check the traffic while getting ready for work. I never turn on the TV at all in the mornings now. When I was a realtor, I would pour over new inventory and make calls, texts, and emails to plan my week out with clients. That is no more as well.

Now I mostly write. My days are spent behind my laptop, either working on my book, writing blog articles, or just journal writing in general. I’ll spend some time going over business videos and learning more about the new publishing industry I dove into last year. I don’t eat. On a rare occasion, I drink alcohol. I’m not a very exciting person, although I’d like to think otherwise. As I get older I’m even less interesting but these days I do often strive for uneventful and on most days, that is exactly what is achieved.

Thanks for reading!– xxooC

One response to “Morning Rituals”

  1. Good post.I subscribed. Have a happy day🍀☘️⭐️💝

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About Me and My Grief Journey

My grief journey began in the Summer of 2020. I became a widow overnight. Without warning, my entire life was turned upside down, broken into pieces I didn’t know how to put back together. Writing became my anchor—my way to breathe, process, and heal, even in small, fractured moments.

After losing Eric, I was diagnosed with PTSD, complicated grief, and an anxiety disorder. For a long time, I was paralyzed by my own emotions. I traveled across the U.S. for over two years, mostly alone, learning how to carry myself through the aftermath of sudden loss.

Along the way, I found love again. Greg became an important part of my life, bringing companionship, laughter, and even new challenges. Losing him to suicide has been another unimaginable heartbreak that shapes much of what I write here. Through it all, my emotional support animals —Odin (dog) and Freija (cat)— keep me grounded and remind me there is still love, life, and care to give.

I moved and now reside in Chicago, Illinois. This city, this home, is my space to rebuild, to grieve, and to explore who I am beyond loss.

What you will find here

This blog started as a place to house my writing. Over time, it’s become much more. Here, I reflect on grief, healing, and the messy, beautiful, often difficult journey of life after sudden loss. I write about my day-to-day experiences, the struggles and triumphs with my diagnoses, and anything else that captures my heart and attention.

My journey on podcasts

Many of my articles are available in podcast form on Spotify and Amazon Music. I welcome your comments—I love feedback. Let’s share this journey together, and maybe find adventure along the way.

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