Moving, moving, moving
I’ve been thinking a lot lately. Thinking on how much life has changed and continues to change since my husband left. But change can be good right? Once I believed with every ending was a new beginning. Although nowadays, I’m finding that harder and harder to be true. In grief, sometimes endings are just that…endings. Where I am now is not a beginning. But a place I am all too familiar with. A place I left for a reason. So with more change, what happens now?
Maybe my purpose here isn’t finished. At least that’s what I am telling myself today. Maybe, just maybe this is a healing place. When the universe sees I’ve had enough. It sends me back here to reflect and heal. A physical “safe space” so to speak. I’ve never really had that before. I mean, sure with my husband I felt safe and secure. But I was never alone. Nor was I ever experiencing complicated grief. Not the way I am now. Psychiatry.org has some great reference material on grief disorders. Just click if you are interested in learning more.
Back Where I Started
So in that, here’s a quick update. I’ve left Chicago. Chicago will always hold a dear place in my heart and Illinois will always feel like home. I went there and did what I wanted. Something I had always dreamed of. I built a life on my own, for me. I’m leaving proud of what I accomplished and proud of myself.
But my time is over for now. I’m drawn back to Kentucky again. I will make the best of this moment and bask in familiar surroundings until the universe decides I belong somewhere else.
Also I have decided to restart therapy. EMDR (Eye Movement and Desensitization Reprocessing) helped in the beginning. I’m not sure I need that again. While I’m here though, I think I’ll dive into some grief therapy. I’ll let you know how that goes. It’s always been hit or miss but I’m hoping for the best.
If you’re still reading me by now and want to catch up, drop me a message and let’s connect. I look forward to seeing some familiar faces. Love you all and thanks for reading. –xxooC
Tell Me Something Good