Fear of Change

New can be scary. In my years as a manager, I’ve learned that some people don’t like change. Those people will always stay stagnant until and unless circumstances push them to move outside their comfort zone and do something different. Willing or unwilling, change only happens in the uncomfortable zone, but, there’s no reason to fear change.

Sometimes change can be good. It doesn’t always have to be scary; it can be exhilarating at best and personal growth at the very least. In that growth, we learn about ourselves. What we want, don’t like, will, and will not tolerate. We know a path forward.

I’ve had more change in the past three years than I ever wanted or imagined could happen. More is to come, and I’ll talk about that another time, but for now, some of the changes are still leaving my head spinning. I am still trying to process and absorb what’s happened. While some of it was good, some was also bad. This led me to question how well I embrace change and whether it is something I can thrive with.

Choosing the Right Road

Change will ultimately go one of two ways. It will encourage self-growth and development or shut us down and put us in a defeated mindset. We choose which road to take and how the change will affect us.

In change, no matter the circumstances, we can use the opportunity to learn a new skill. Accepting change can give help gain better knowledge of ourselves and in turn, to become more self-aware of managing stress and change, and overcome self-doubt. We don’t need to fear change.

When I lost my husband, I didn’t know how I would survive. But I did, and I am still here. I learned many things about the world and myself. Time doesn’t stop for me, nor does it stop for anyone. In this constant, I have learned that this situation is only temporary. Tomorrow is another day, another opportunity to do something different. My wise daughter taught me this.

Learning New Skills

Over the past three years, I have met many individuals I believe spirit has put in my path. They were put there for me to learn and to guide me. Not too much thought is given to change anymore. I don’t fear change as much as I once did. I have become accustomed to it, although I know how hard it can be to accept and even embrace it if you’ve lived a life with little change because that was me not too long ago.

When confronted with either desired or undesired change, the only real thing we can do is accept it. Embrace it for what it is and move forward. I suggest internalizing it and then releasing the fear. Understand where your fear is coming from. Break the fear down to exactly why it is there. Then, reach inside and figure out a plan.

I realize this process doesn’t happen overnight, and all of this takes time. For me, it took many months and three years into my husband’s passing; I’m still processing, planning, reassessing, and analyzing. Through all of this, I focus on the positives. Keeping a gratitude journal has been extremely helpful, as it has connected me with those with whom I have a commonality. Unfortunately, this has also meant leaving some behind and cutting them out of my life. This is because they no longer benefit the new me. They changed me. In change are some harsh realities. Those who do not support your growth and your vision don’t deserve access to you. Read that again. Those who do not keep your growth and your eye don’t deserve access to you. My wise daughter taught me that.

Overcoming Fear and Celebrating Victories

The first step is to realize that change is either coming or needed. Don’t fear change, as change is growth. Once you are ready for the change ahead, set small goals for yourself. For some, it’s easier to write things down; sometimes, I do that. Other times, I go all in and do as much as possible, as quickly as possible, and then take a break. No matter how you approach change, it is okay and entirely up to the individual.

Most of it is your support system. I only made it through the past three years with mine. Your people will be there for you. It may just be one person at a particular time. I had a tiny circle at first. Then it broadened, and then it shrunk again. You choose your comfort level. When you feel like you are spending too much energy and not getting anything in return, analyze your connections and adjust accordingly. I’m going to be blunt and say some people are emotional vampires, and they will prey on the vulnerable. It’s okay to say no, and it’s self-preservation to cut people who are not productive to your growth out of your life.

You will have both small and large victories. Celebrate them. Each of them is a moment of accomplishment to be cherished and recognized. You are a growing and changing being; you deserve respect, support, and recognition. Be your advocate and take charge of what you need. Give yourself permission to reward yourself on a job well done when embracing change.

Keeping a Positive Attitude

So, what happens when things don’t go as planned? There will be days when you feel you take one step forward and two steps back. This is life, and this is normal. Persevering keeps us moving forward. Sure, there will be days you feel like giving up. It took me some time before and after my husband passed to be able to allow myself to take days off. The mental struggle was real.

We all want to feel productive, but we also must focus on our mental and physical well-being. Sometimes, we have to stop and say no to everything. That’s okay, too. Nowadays, it’s called taking a mental health day, although I have always called it a “me” day. I close myself in and do what I want. It could be a hot shower and a nap or reading all day. Sometimes, I binge-watch a TV show; other times, I sit outside, weather permitting. However you choose is okay. You don’t have to explain it to anyone.

With success also comes failure. Failure at times, is simply part of the process. Change instigates movement and not all movement is going to be positive. The critical thing to remember is tomorrow is another day. It’s another day to do something different. Remember that phrase; it has gotten me through the best and the worst of times but mostly the worst.

There’s Always Tomorrow

The critical piece is focusing on the end goal. Understanding you are in the midst of change and embracing all that comes with it. Stay positive, and stay focused. Rely on your support system. If that isn’t working, find another, even if it’s therapy. My family staged an intervention at one point and sent me to a therapist. My support system could no longer handle my change. So accept the suggestions and keep moving forward.

Starting something new doesn’t have to be scary, although it most often is. If you begin to embrace stepping out of your comfort zone, you may grow beyond your dreams, and then you get to make new, greater ones. The journey is as important as the destination, so be mindful of what happens during the process. This will better prepare you for the next trip and then the next. Change is a catalyst for self-growth. You can be as great as you want. It’s all how you interpret it to be.

Thanks for reading. I love you all –xxooC